Hello Kay, It is easy to feel so alone when you are a woman with a pornography struggle. Especially being Christian. I have struggled with this addiction as well. In fact, I was the worship leader and would watch porn every day! (I am not anymore)
I know for me, I would feel embarrassed and ashamed. I feel like I have no one to talk to because all of my family is in the church ministry. I am glad you found this group and if you ever need someone to talk to, please feel free to message me.

Thanks Beca! I appreciate you reaching out to me! I will definitely take you up on that offer!

If you don't get too many responses in here, you might have to look through the rooms that best fit you. I think this is the loss of mom's support group. I may be wrong but I don't think so. I know the support groups are very very helpful. I just want to tell you that because I do want to see you be able to talk to others who have the same problem as you. The support groups are very very helpful. take care.

Hello Kay,

Until I found people who know what it is like and somewhere I could be honest without fear, I was so alone in my secret. I was so ashamed that I could not look up to God any more. I was in a desperate battle between seeking God for forgiveness but knowing I would be unable or willing to leave the addiction. I was trapped.

I got so desperate that I was right on the edge. So filled with guilt and self loathing that I could not bear to even hear about love or grace. I could not get it that I my higher power would willing give them to me either.

I was running away further and further into the addiction to try and ease my pain. It truely is a progressive disease. I could not face another day of living. In desperation I googled for help and found SAA. There was a group near me and I went through that door not knowing what I would admit to. They all said... I am X and I am a sex addict. They talked about things that were exactly what I knew. I kept going for a few weeks and then I was able to say I am Kate and I am a sex addict. That was the start of hope.

The 12 step programme is based on that used by alcoholics anonymous and I cannot recommend it highly enough. I am getting on for 5 months sober ( 4 months 20 days 11 hours)

I can go to chuch and listen to the message of love and grace for me and know that my higher power (my God) lead me to find the programme and to go through that door.
He saved my life.

Kay:

Many people try to lean on God and hope things get right through prayer, etc. I'm not one of those people. I'm not sure it really works.

However...one thing you have to realize is that you have something going on inside you that you're not coping well with. Watching porn is considered a ""Maladaptive Coping Strategy" and there are underlying issues that need to be addressed.

I've been through a number of years of therapy and can probably help you through some of this. But you'd be better served with a therapist of some sort.

Send me a PM if you're interested in knowing more.