Welcome! You're in the right place. What things have you tried to help you quit?

Thanks!
I've got 'self control' on my computer which helps. I do a lot of meditation and have a lot of hobbies which keeps me busy. Everything seems fine until the urge hits and I'm home alone. I'll start to make excuses why I can watch porn, like "I've been good for two weeks so I'll just do it once" that kind of thing. Now when I get that urge I'm going to post on here and hopefully that will keep me sorted.
How long does it take to reset your brains addiction usually?

There isn't one answer for that, though the rule of thumb many use is to try for a 90-day break.

Aside from coming to this forum, have you made any contact with other people who have the same struggle? For a lot of people, connecting in person with others - in a group, with a therapist, faith leader, etc. - can be really, really helpful.

Thanks for your post. I have the same problem. I've been addicted to pornography since I discovered it at 11. My parents always condemned anything that resembled porn or even romance. They would go to great lengths to shelter me from all those things. My mother would hold a blanket over the TV or fast forward the VCR when a romantic scene came on. I got mixed messages because of the way my parents spoke to other people and each other and because I found their porn tapes. I learned indirectly that porn was ok to do in secret, but bad if other people knew.

I tried to quit many times. I had a cycle of accumulating a large collection, then becoming shameful that I had that. I threw it all away, vowing never to look at porn again, only to give in a few days later and start a new collection. It cost me alot of money and an extraordinary amount of time.

Over time, my addiction began to grow into different behaviors. I can relate to your experience with your girlfriend. When I am acting out with porn, I tend to not desire intimacy with my partner. I want to isolate from everyone in my life. I think this is a mixture of the stressors, resentments, and anger that build up and also from the cycle of shame from acting out with porn.

What has really helped me was the support of other people. Today, I am about 18 months in recovery from sex addiction and I attend multiple 12 step groups for sex addiction in my town. In addition, my wife and I attend a 12 step group for recovering couples. We both go to our own therapist and we go to a couple's therapist regularly. I call my recovery friends daily and support them and in turn, I am supported.

If you want, please PM me for details or just to talk when you're having a rough time.

Thanks for reading my share.

That's good to hear you're all doing well!
First week is done and I'm still porn free. Has been pretty easy really. Just noticing when I am triggered and keeping myself occupied with other things when the urges come up.
Thanks for the replies!!!

I'm in huge same boat. My wife is so hurt by my actions and she doesn't deserve the pain. How has your girlfriend reacted to your addiction? It's day 5 for me.

She doesn't even know, I've hidden it from her really well.

Nice to meet you. I'm new on here but hope as I learn I can share successes and things I've learned. I'm rooting for you to beat this in your life. I'm also in committed marriage but can't kick porn on my own as I have tried in the past.

It's almost like we have to actively choose real life over fantasy.

Congratulations on admitting that you have a problem. That is, indeed, the most important first step to addressing the actual problem. I offer the following and hope that it will help in some way.

One of the keys to working through sex/porn/masturbation addictions is to not "give up something" and to not "stop doing something." Instead, you want to REPLACE the unhealthy actions with positive ones. When you go through those periods where you are abstaining from addictive behaviors, actively do something that strengthens your relationship with your partner.

(And the reason that I say "periods" is because that is usually what they are in the beginning. In order to make lasting changes where addictive patterns are concerned, one must build moment. There are phases to the journey.)

Spend more time with her. Actively listen to her. Anticipate her needs. Do something special for her - not because you are expecting sexual favors in return, but because you love her and you want to express your feelings through your actions.

When you engage with your partner in this manner, she will start responding to you differently. Make changes slowly and naturally. Otherwise, you will raise suspicion, and you likely will be so uncomfortable that you will be unlikely to sustain the changes that you are making. But it is imperative that you think of these changes as permanent. They are not something that you do intermittently, otherwise they come across as manipulative. And if you add manipulation into this mix...let's just say that that would take things downhill very quickly.

Wishing you the best!

Thanks for the kind words Alisa!
Three weeks in today and I'm still porn free! It's been pretty hard (excuse the pun) but I'm getting through it. Just trying to stay aware and present, going for a skate or playing music when I get too horny. The closest I got was one night when my girl was away and I went out and had a few beers. When I got home and my inhibitions were low I had to really force myself to just go to sleep without jumping online.
It was interesting though, when I was out I was like a magnet to girls. I noticed this one other time when I went for a few weeks without masturbating. Have any of you guys noticed this happening? It's like they can sense something, maybe it's just that I'm more confident because I'm taking control of my situation?...
Thanks again for the support it's really helping me get through this!
Peace :)

The lies and hiding that go along with a porn addiction eroded all trust for me. Being lied to right in the face...straight in the eye- stops my heart. I have become a shell of woman. Numb, empty, and sad.... I feel trapped with no hope. This is how a wife feels.

Skyler1, It sounds like you have an inferiority complex that has been triggered by your husbands porn addiction. I realise that you feel wronged but if you truly love your man and want to help him then you can't blame him for his addiction. Dopamine is what our brains are addicted to, the device in which the dopamine is distributed to us is somewhat irrelevant and changes from person to person. For example, 90% of the population in this country are physically addicted to sugar. Hundreds of thousands are addicted to alcohol. Porn is just another trigger and as I'm learning through my experience it can be controlled. What happens when we watch porn, is that we are looking at impossibly beautiful women on the internet, when we jack off to porn our brain thinks that we are actually mating with these women, then when we are around our partners who are not as attractive, our brains shut off because it thinks 'why have sex with this 7 when you could be with those 10's'.
Does that make any sense?
I'm sure you guys will be ok, but don't make his addiction about you. Empower him for fighting his addiction, have sex with him, be dirty, make him want ONLY you!
Good luck to you :)

Six weeks in and still going strong!
This is the longest I've gone without porn for probably 15 years!
Feeling gooooooood :)

Congratulations!!!