Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group
Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.
I am now 87 days clean (YAY) after about 4-5 years of porn addiction. My wife and I have not had sex in almost 6 months (we just had a baby). My question is about libido. I have not looked at porn or masturbated in 87 days. I'm starting to wonder if there is life in the guy anymore. I am scared of intimacy because "what if it doesn’t" kind of feelings. The fact that my wife has not been interested in sex post baby has been a relief but I know she will want to soon. Any thoughts, suggestions? I did suffer from porn ED and I think its messing with me. No problems while looking at porn but the actual deed, the erections would either not show or would not last. (I’m assuming because of desentization or guilt)
In recovery, I have learned to have a healthier look at sex and what makes sex a SAFE thing for me as an addict.
Before recovery, sex was always about my performance. It took recovery for me to see how selfish it was - in the end, I was making it all about ME and how good I was (or wasn't) at it.
My sexual ideal now is about love, honesty, intimacy. If erection is physically a problem, who better than a loving and caring wife to understand?
Fear is one of the things that drives me back into addiction.
Love, honesty and trying to be selfless are the things that bring me back into the light. I believe my old, goal-driven notions of how sex ought to be were part of my sickness. In the end, what is more important than the emotional connection to your wife? I would think that under those circumstances, you won't even have to think about arousal....it will just happen.
Of course, having a good healthy marriage might not be part of what a sex addict has ... I think that in the end is the most important...healthy and satisfying sex follows. Healthy and honest connections are my new ideal