Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group
Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.
Hey everybody,
Well I am really glad to find this group. It is time I started to open up about the lusts that dominate me on regular basis. I am 34 year old who has been married for 12 years and have a couple young children. Though for the first decade there had not been any porn or much masturbation on my part but just a string of a few binges of public masturbation and things along these lines... solo sex while talking to unaware female operators, masturbation while driving, masturbation by windows toying with the idea of being watched by girls, stuff along those lines... These binges that would happen maybe twice a year or little more left me with lots of guilt but through it all I never got into porn or any kind of masturbation on a regular basis. That is why I feel that things have been able to carry along as long as they have. About six months ago I was researching on how to satisfy my exhibitionism thirst and came up the suggestion of webcams. This led me to Omegle while my wife was away for a trip. Oh my gosh I got so hooked that for 3 nights in a row I spent almost the whole night clicking away and showing off my penis to in girl who was interested. What seemed like the craziest and thrilling thing left me a mess of grump and dead beat the next morning with my kids...On these sites there is porn clips placed between chat windows and they don't interest me one bit for some reason. I crave to be seen by or risk of being seen by real people that it leads me into a addicted driven binge mess. I have binged on that site three times in the last 6 months and want more everyday
. I dont hide anything from my wife and she feels hurt and mad when I have been honest about these struggles. She affirms that this is not the real me but yet these impulses continue to theme my life. Just last night on a crave while driving I masturbated with my shorts at my ankles while driving to and down the highway. As my shorts fell lower and lower I kept more and more excited. almost totally revealing myself to women in neighboring vehicles. This binge left my wife and I fight that went on till 2am as she wondered why it took me hrs to do a couple errands. Her trust that I have built up over years is starting to shake:(. I want to be a faithful and respectable husband and a present loving father along with a respectable citizen. I fear one day that I will go to far and suffer consquences for my behavior bigger than what I already have. I find it hard to know how to talk people because my problem is not porn or typicallly masturbation. my wife and I have sex a few times a week and everything is fine in that department. This lust needs to be channeled in a better way and I need help with that. Thanks for any advice group.
Well I am really glad to find this group. It is time I started to open up about the lusts that dominate me on regular basis. I am 34 year old who has been married for 12 years and have a couple young children. Though for the first decade there had not been any porn or much masturbation on my part but just a string of a few binges of public masturbation and things along these lines... solo sex while talking to unaware female operators, masturbation while driving, masturbation by windows toying with the idea of being watched by girls, stuff along those lines... These binges that would happen maybe twice a year or little more left me with lots of guilt but through it all I never got into porn or any kind of masturbation on a regular basis. That is why I feel that things have been able to carry along as long as they have. About six months ago I was researching on how to satisfy my exhibitionism thirst and came up the suggestion of webcams. This led me to Omegle while my wife was away for a trip. Oh my gosh I got so hooked that for 3 nights in a row I spent almost the whole night clicking away and showing off my penis to in girl who was interested. What seemed like the craziest and thrilling thing left me a mess of grump and dead beat the next morning with my kids...On these sites there is porn clips placed between chat windows and they don't interest me one bit for some reason. I crave to be seen by or risk of being seen by real people that it leads me into a addicted driven binge mess. I have binged on that site three times in the last 6 months and want more everyday
. I dont hide anything from my wife and she feels hurt and mad when I have been honest about these struggles. She affirms that this is not the real me but yet these impulses continue to theme my life. Just last night on a crave while driving I masturbated with my shorts at my ankles while driving to and down the highway. As my shorts fell lower and lower I kept more and more excited. almost totally revealing myself to women in neighboring vehicles. This binge left my wife and I fight that went on till 2am as she wondered why it took me hrs to do a couple errands. Her trust that I have built up over years is starting to shake:(. I want to be a faithful and respectable husband and a present loving father along with a respectable citizen. I fear one day that I will go to far and suffer consquences for my behavior bigger than what I already have. I find it hard to know how to talk people because my problem is not porn or typicallly masturbation. my wife and I have sex a few times a week and everything is fine in that department. This lust needs to be channeled in a better way and I need help with that. Thanks for any advice group.- MrKiwi
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- Joined: Fri Jan 17, 2020 1:21 pm
- Local time: Mon Jan 20, 2020 11:29 pm
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You will not find the help you need sitting in a jail cell. Your impulses have dire consequences and you should pursue a professional sex addict counselor quickly. Your luck will run out as you challenge yourself to riskier behavior. More and more people are prosecuting rather than walking away. So, as much as I care for you and your addiction I also care about you and your legal consequences. If you go to a church program, which I always recommend, they will have no choice but to report you to authorities. You definitely need a professional.
Everyone here creates their own jail cell that we confine ourselves to for a while. We hide. It’s symbolic. You are really walking a fine line. You’re a victim of addiction and your addiction has victims. Seek help. Your luck will run out. And always, start praying. God is compassionate. He specializes in caring for and redeeming people like us.
I completely agree with Heismercy, pray to the most high, he’ll help you out if this. Prayer is simply a conversation. Praying for you my friend.
Thanks so much for your response and direction.
I want to clarify that I have never actually revealed myself to someone in public but have surely come close.
I have recently experienced a webcam site and will not ever be returning on there.
I surely am a follower of Jesus and He will see me through this.
Yes I am reaching out friends/family and counselors for support.
thanks for the response. Umm I have been married 12 years and did not view porn even one time but ran into little bits while out of curiosity tried webcamming sites. Thanks for the encouragement. Honestly dude you need to rise up fight for your relationship and show your wife Love and build your relationship at all costs! time,money,words etc...Read the 5 love languages by gary chapman. Your struggle with porn is not uncommon to men so seek a mens group in a church or join a church and get over this. you can do it bro.