Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group
Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.
My husband has viewed porn nearly everyday for years. Then he became involved with a married woman at his work, and the relationship went on for about 2 years. To me, there is a clear connection between porning, strip clubs, etc. and getting involved with another woman. The boundaries become blurred for a porn user and suddenly anything goes. He doesn't feel that there is a connection between porn and the affair. He says he got involved with her because he and I married young and he needed some other experiences. Also because he shared a close friendship with her and he fell much more deeply for her than he ever intended. He doesn't believe his falling for her had anything to do with looking at porn. We are going to try to start going to marriage counseling again soon... but it seems in a way it is doomed from the start if he is in denial and we can't agree on a simple thing like this issue. Any thoughts/opinions on this?
I am a year into recovery, and my wife has yet to go to a group. She once said there is no way she is going to sit in a room with a bunch of women who are crazy enough to marry a sex addict.!!!! WOW!
So, do what you have to do to find and sweep your side of the street. God set this whole "oneness thing" up so that he will eventually have no choice but to face reality, but it will not be because you "forced the issue" it will come faster because you let go, got out of God's way, and left him and God to work it out together. You know that is what you need, him to work it out with God, not you.
Psalms 51 sais "My sin is against you and you alone, God" David did all that crap to Bathsheba, Uriah, his kingdom, and though he hurt, wronged, adulterered, murdered, all of his sin was against God and noone else.
So, consider that your husbands accounting is to God, not to you. Impossible to fathom, but the reality. If you had choosen to leave him at the first sign of his addiction, then how would his behavior now affect you. Out of your sight, disconnected from him, devorced? My point is that realizing you have far less control over him than you think or want to, allows you to let God work things out with him, and you seperately. Once that happens you are both free to work together from a totally different plain.
It is very late, so I hope at least 3 words I wrote makes sense.