Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group

Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.

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Caught

mrcakes_87
mrcakes_87

This morning my wife of seven years walked in on me as I was watching porn and masturbating. It has come up in the past where she found a tablet that I was using to watch porn but this was when we were fresh into our marriage. I believe I have a problem since I have not been able to get rid of this addiction. It started way before when I was a teenager, and now I'm afraid that she will leave me when I get home from work. We have two children together and it would be truly devastated it anything like that were to happen. I couldn't blame her for it though. Is it too late for me to get any help? This morning she just asked what is was I doing when she walked in to the bathroom. And didn't say much else, she has had told me in the past that she would leave me if I would cheat on her and she believes watching porn is to same as cheating. I feel like I'm just rambling on now. I hope someone can give me some words of encouragement. Thank you in advance.

Scaredandafraid
Scaredandafraid
Therapy and anti depressants is what's helping me. Depression was tired in to my porn and masterbation addiction. Identify your triggers for sure. Do you go to porn when you are feeling a certain way such as agitation or boredom? What's your mind frame when you turn to it? And being upfront with your wife and make her hold you accountable. It's allot easier to slip if you have no accountability. Have he be involved in your breaking the cycle. It's an uphill battle for sure butt you don't have to fight alone. Come here often and communicate with your wife. Even let her see this group. It is an addiction. But like any addiction, it can be overcome
Restful
Restful
Talk to your wife and tell her that you believe this has become an addiction. Then take steps to seek help just as if you were addicted to cocaine. See a therapist who specializes in sexual addiction, go to SAA meetings, get accountability partners, make all your devices fully accessible to your wife, and finally just take one day at a time.
mrcakes_87
mrcakes_87
Thank you @scared and afraid. As a teenager it was an escape to be mischievous and taboo but I was dealing with the loss of a father that I deeply needed but wasn't there. Then it became my outlet when I felt lonely and depressed. Now it's more as a routine and when I'm stressed out about being the man that my family needs, monetary perception or as a single source of income. I'm afraid it's become a gateway since I was only doing it when I was alone and now when I'm in the bathroom before my shower. I hope that she can understand and become a person that I can trust and that will make me accountable. Have you had any luck with accountability software or apps?
mrcakes_87
mrcakes_87
Thank you restful, I will definitely take you up on your words. One day at a time.
Scaredandafraid
Scaredandafraid
We use an app called soaring safe. It was for my phone since that was my primary source. The wife installed it and sent me a link to install it which gave her control over the content i could see. Sure has social media blocked and porn sites. The cool thing is it isn't a snitch app so if you try to access anything that's blocked all it will say on your end is no connection. Something like that may give her piece of mind
Blacksheep59
Blacksheep59
I am sorry you are going through this, pornography is a hard beast to beat. It is an addiction just like cocaine or heroine or even alcohol. It can be beat but you need the right tools and support. The first thing you need to do is seek marriage counseling and addiction counseling for yourself. Your wife needs to see you are trying to make an honest effort to change. Also I would suggest you get an accountability partner ( something like a sponsor in AA ) that you can call when you are feeling weak and being led down the porn path. Also internet filtering software like Net Nanny or something. I found this site that has all kinds of resources for for different issues pornography being one of them here it is https://list.ly/Troubled_With/lists. Prayers my friend.
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