Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group

Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.

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/ Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group

Beginning my recovery after 15 years of addiction

individual
individual

I have been watching internet pornography most days of my life since the age of around 12. I am now 27. I am aware that by now this amount of behaviour like this will have probably had significant neurological effects. I am interested if anyone else has had this problem for this long and what they have found has helped them overcome it. I have tried to quit before and I found that limiting myself to just watching really soft-core videos for the first week, then just looking at images the next week and then nothing at all but allowing myself to masturbate seemed to make it much easier. It sort of felt like managable steps which progressed quite quickly and I felt in control. But obviously I have lapsed again now. Is this a bad strategy? Should I also be quitting masturbating entirely, at least for some period of time? 



Also, I am in a long term relationship with the love of my life and this problem has destroyed our sex life. Despite us being very close I simply cannot tell her. She thinks I have no libido, but the truth is very different. I am hoping dealing with this will allow us to have a proper sex life as it is pretty much the only problem in our relationship.

Scaredandafraid
Scaredandafraid
You need to be upfront with her about it for sure. I can attest to the same problem and the biggest problem with the masterbation and porn coinciding is that (my belief and research tells me this and the fact it happens to me too) after so much masturbation the nerve endings are damaged and hardened. I don't get off with regular sex or oral. I only can get off if i masturbate. I would tell my wife that i had little orgasms . but in reality 25+ years of excessive porn and masterbation have made it dulled. With the honesty there is accountability . that means both of you can combat the problem instead of just you where you will justify it to yourself like a drunk justifies having that one beer. Also is there an underlying link to porn? Do you have a certain mindset that you in to gravitate to it or during stressful times?
Restful
Restful
The only thing that seems to take away the desire for sex, porn, masturbation for me is to be connected with my family. By connected, I mean actively engaged in conversations, daily tasks, and activities with my son and my wife. I usually notice that when I feel connected with people I love or am close too, I don’t feel the need to endulge my addiction.
hopefulforchanges
hopefulforchanges
I agree with Restful's comment. The more I am involved with others the less I feel my mind wandering toward lustful thoughts and desires. It takes an all in effort for me. I've been viewing porn since probably about the same age as you and am 25 now and have been married for two years. It's super difficult. I'm trying to work in a stepwise way too but I think any little hit of it triggers too much release to control. I've found it's better to be completely separated. I've relapsed in the last month and was feeling like I was going to today until I got on here and saw your post.
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