hello, this is first time i write about my story , i am male 29 next june i will be 30, i apssed the half of my life so i hope next half will be good, brief i am adiicted to pornography for more then 10 years , and masturbation in age of 15 you see half of my age , i was a regular boy like everyone i got a good marks in my school my energy my abition the love of my parents who support me in every period of my education , they wnt see me someone productive educated has a good position in the society they want me to teacher ,my futher said as long as i am alive i will not let you suufer untill you got your degree , anyway , my adiction start when i got the secoandory school in age of 13 or  14, i met some friends we were talking about sexe masturbation ect we switch magazines between us i liked what i did i though i am a man and sexe is a nature and masturbation everyone did it , someday i can leave it is only temporary ...... after about two years i got my first DVD i was first time i see a real sexe operation  then my brain start produce more dopamine i wanted to mastubate again and again because the pornstars they cum by using hand so i said it is same ...... my enery start to be low i wake up lazy  i lost my wants to study i imagine that postions everywhere i go in class room in the street i look for more i was like that three years i passed to high school with low points with no desire . i got high school in 17 , then i got my freedom why , ? because of two factors first i had internet second i meet the friend that was like me an super advise in pornography , he took to cyber internet he provide me with a lot of website  DVDs evey day after school he came to my home to go out and watch vedios looking for places where can we be more motivated .... i lost my enery my health looks weak i my eyes are yellow i feel asleep , i hate to stay in home or school i could not focus , in this firt year i got the last calssification in that class do you know who was before me ? my friend supervisor of porn lol, fuck i hate myself in high school degree i   failed i did not got it ,evey one was wondering why u do that you was the best always you dont use drugd no alcohol always you lough your dad supprots u , that is the danger of this adition , i left high school i did not have the patient to study i was jobless for five years everywhre i go i leave the job after one month or less , even my body got skinny they dont wnat hire i dont look productive , i forgot tell my friend supervisor of porn got his highschool and all the class males exept me you see? can you imagine my psychologie then ?

anyway , i passed five years isolited myself in the society because they ask me what are you doing do you work?do you study/ i avoid my classmates who went to College because they were not good than me to get there , i had a lot of qualifications to be best of them but unfortanteley , i lost my edycation the girl that i was like to marry left me when she knows i left school , she is married now with one baby, she got her degree in nursing and working , a lot of things happened to me last 10 years ,because of this addiction my sexual health is not strong as before i have quick ejaculation, i dont have skills to work , i am jobless now no kids even my familly are far of me , it is a hell in silence you can not know that if u meet me you can see me normal but only me i know what i feel,  sometimes i cry when i feel faible , i lost to much people friends opportunities , i wish this new year will be new step to new life ,if some one like me i wish to hear from her or him thanks,