Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group

Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.

3,361 Members
6,112 Posts
0 Online
Addiction & Recovery
/ Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group

Abstinence

SomethingAwesome
SomethingAwesome

I am in a committed relationship that is borderline sexless (1-3 times/year). I know that quitting porn typically means abstaining from all things sexual for at least a little while and I have some questions.


1. How long did you abstain if you went this route?


2. How do I tell my partner no if he by some miracle wants to do something? 


3. Has anyone decided to walk away from all things sexual completely? 


My ideal right now is to completely shut down my sex drive. I don't want to want it. I don't want to be needy or annoying. My partner is happier when I don't try to pursue anything with him, and I think I'm happier when I know sex is not an option. I can't get upset about not getting it if it's just not a part of my life anymore, right?? 

Scaredandafraid
Scaredandafraid
I think In your situation you have a right to be upset or needy in a sense. Sex with a committed partner isn't just about sex. It's intimacy. Feeling wanted etc. Has it always been that way?
SomethingAwesome
SomethingAwesome
Yes. He has never wanted me. Every time we have ever done anything it was after weeks to months of asking/begging/nagging that eventually turned into a fight and he would give me what I wanted basically just to shut me up for a little while lol
I’m at the point where I would much rather not want anything than continue that cycle.
MemphisWH
MemphisWH
Abstaining is hard as hell...but required to reset the brain, physical, and intimacy.
It is not healthy for a married couple to not have intimacy on a regular basis.
Even the bible teaches that intimacy it is required for a healthy partner.
Addicted to porn can and will destroy your soul, we have to find a healthy outlet other than porn.
I would be open and honest to your partner, and tell him about your journey.
Currently abstaining, to stop the addiction, to reset.
Stopping means also dealing with emotions as to why the addiction is so strong and in the way of being healthy.
IT is also something that is not done alone.
Good luck and start a journal about your path.
SomethingAwesome
SomethingAwesome
Part of the reason my issue got to the point it did is because there is no physical intimacy and there never was. Even when it did happen, it was essentially forced (by me), so it was a chore for him rather than anything intimate or enjoyable. I doubt he’ll want it while I’m abstaining, I’m just really hoping to be able to reach a state where I don’t even want it anymore. That would definitely alleviate a considerable amount of stress for both of us.
Scaredandafraid
Scaredandafraid
That is admirable but what about your needs? If that is what it is why not find a friend for a roommate?. A committed relationship involves give and take on both ends. Is this something you have openly discussed with him?
SomethingAwesome
SomethingAwesome
Countless times. We always “come to an understanding” but nothing changes. I don’t mind, I just need to learn to stop the “urges.” I think it’s doable.
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
Talk to your doctor about it. I think there is medication available that can shut down sexual desire.

Good luck
SomethingAwesome
SomethingAwesome
I don’t have insurance. I have been looking up medications, though. I can probably afford it out of pocket
Posts You May Be Interested In