Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group

Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.

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pobevin 12/03/2018

In case you are wondering if it is "Ever safe to look at porn again", I am going to say no. I thought I had it under control, but I feel I am back at square one. Stress is my trigger and I have a lot of it right now. I am madder at myself than anything. Please tell me someone in here has had a setback and now is clean? Did anybody else notice the longer the addiction the more....aggressive the style of porn you liked to watch? Did that transfer over to your sex life because mine did. I wanted what I saw on the screen....will I ever be "normal" again and want crave normal sex?

tonisora 12/03/2018

YES you will be "normal" again. It's okay if you had a set back. You are recognizing the problem and the is HUGE. I recently stumbled over Fight the New Drug. It is a movement to not use porn. They have a lot of info on how porn effects our brains and our perception of relationships and sex. It has been extremely helpful for me to see the science behind the porn addiction.
https://fightthenewdrug.org/how-porn-kills-love/

tonisora 12/03/2018

Also, I think it is super important to separate yourself from what you want b/c of the porn and what you want b/c it's what you want. I have a lot of kinks and that is taking me a lot of time to figure out where and how they fit into my life in a healthy and positive balance.

StrugglingFF 12/03/2018

I tell ya what, no porn is ever good porn so no it is not safe, and based on your triggers, mine is porn, you HAVE TO STAY AWAY. One that caves just once is subject to a whole new mess of problems. I recently hit rock bottom a few weeks ago as I lost my wife and 3 kids to a separation, she is moved out and i am all by myself. This is all a result of my negative actions and my lies, my fears. I am happy to say I am just over 3 weeks sober from pornography and just shy of 3 weeks shy of masterbation. I recently gave my life up to god and am relying heavily on my higher power. Yes... in regards to your questions though, this addiction is progressive and certainly if not addressed it spirals out of control not only in our fantasies, but our lives as well, often times in more ways then one. Addicts, which I don’t know if you are or not, but always having that need for me and not being able to control it. I’m realizing through therapy, SAA meetings and my journey with Christ that yes, I will repair my marriage and have healthy normal sex/relationships again. Best of luck to you as you search for answers.

Mike

FarmMom 12/04/2018

I do not know what normal is, but I also struggle with “kinks” and what it means in a relationship. How far do I let myself go?

StrugglingFF 12/04/2018

Normal is what you define as normal, honestly. You mention kinks, is this your personal kinks or kinks between you and a partner? I mean you can let yourself go as far as you are comfortable with, if it’s with a partner, open yourself up, find out what you both like, but I encourage you to have fun with it also

pobevin 12/05/2018

Thank you all for your kind words and advice! I know I do have "kinks", I always have. I think porn probably introduced me to my more aggressive side. But at what point is it a problem. If I can't get aroused because it's not up to my level of kink...is that "my problem" or my partners?

Either way, I have been clean the last few days. I am avoiding any "alone time" like crazy. What else do you do to avoid triggers?

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