Using explicit or profane words is not a good habit. I have some sexual addictions too. Just looking at the advertisement with a woman in a sports bra is triggering sexual thoughts.

"If i don't have sex i feel like shit!!" Number one, I agree with nsawatchlist that the obscenity is inappropriate and not helpful. One of the things you might work on in your recovery is broadening your vocabulary. Number two, I understand. On the one hand you have not developed any better things to do, so that stopping the addictive behaviors leave you just sitting on your hands. Idle hands are the devil's workshop. You need to find some better things to do. Number three - I notice that you don't say you want to make love to someone, or that there is anybody special, but that you just want to 'fuck'. That means to use sex to get high? right?

I think it's impossible to stay away from sex totally,, but you need to get rewired. How are you going to rewire yourself? The 12 Steps work for me.

Setting boundaries is very important, and part of the rewiring a lot of us need to do.

I agree with the others that your language is inappropriate. Having said that I feel that you are angry and ranting like a child. Have you done anything other than give up sex? Do you want a healthy sex life? If so you need to make significant changes in your life. One thing I suggest you talk to your therapist about is your anger issues. Ranting and raving and pouting because you can't have your way will solve nothing. I promise you that if you want recovery and to be free from porn/sex addiction is will come. But you MUST want recovery more than the addiction. It will take a lot of effort on your part, a lot of tears and a lot of time. Grow up and act responsibly and stop acting childish.

I apologize for the bad language it's not something i use on a regular basis it's just what creped into my head. And no i don't make love and i haven't for a very long time. Even when i was still with my wife i didn't make love and if i use words like that it's because as my doc says (i view sex as a bodily function and not as intimacy) and i feel horrible about how my ex wife must have felt i treated her like a whore and I'm truely sorry for that. And i also found out from my therapist that the situation with my cousin isn't rare he's got two other patients in similar situations.

Apology accepted.

Jimpoe - what you're experiencing isn't too terribly unusual for Sex Addicts - withdrawal is difficult... very difficult and it takes a complete set of tools if you're to be successful. Those tools may vary. For me I leverage my therapist; go to SA meetings on a regular basis (2 per week or more if necessary); work a step program, every day; make calls to other addicts who serve as accountability partners; attend group therapy and I learned to turn my life over to a Higher Power as I understand that Power. I am not religious. Early on I confused the Higher Power stuff with religion and it thwarted me from maintaining sobriety, but I have found it to be the cornerstone of my recovery.

Good luck to ya

Thanks to everyone. Although my therapy is a huge part of my recovery i still need a place to come and vent and get and get advice and sometimes just to hear from people going through the same things. I thank you all.

I appreciate your honesty. That's important to recovery. The word 'fuck' is sometimes appropriate, as it is different than 'making Love', so you called the spade a spade. Sometimes the word sh*t also fits. When the shoe fits wear it. That's different than just throwing out obscenities left and right because of habit and lack of vocabulary.

Remember, yes, this is a group that is dedicated to recovery, and so we are sometimes harder on each other than some others who would rather get on a pity-pot.

A couple of others mentioned that it helps a lot to focus on the positive side of recovery.. the rewards of it, more than just thinking about the pleasures we are giving up. Do you have a clean bucket list of things you would like to do, be able to do?
Set some goals, establish some priorities?
So we can't do this or that,, but there are lots of good things that we can do if we are sober.

Well I've been able to stay away from sexual intercourse but not so good with the porn and I've been masturbating more than usual and i know that's bad also i guess it's one day at a time doctor said it was going to be hard (but wow!!)cause I'm used to just calling one of my friends i would refer to them as (sex buddies) and get what i needed so this is really kicking butt ya know.

Well, in a way you could say that you've been staying away from normal sex and getting into diversions instead. I would agree that just calling a sex buddy is not the best idea. For many of us the goal is to ultimately put our sex drive into a healthy relationship, and not to try to delete sex altogether. It's hard for me to think of my life as being totally sexless.

I know what you mean but i don't think I've ever had normal sex even with my ex wife i don't think it was normal as far back as my teen years I've always given into my sexual urges so I've got a long way to a normal sexual relationship ya know. I know how i got here and sometimes i wonder if I'll ever have a normal loving sexual relationship with someone.

I know what you mean, and that's what I meant too, whether you're staying away from normal sex for one reason or another or that you just have had no experience with it at all.

Step 2 says that we came to believe in a Higher Power that can 'restore us' to sanity, but some of us hope to become sane for the first time ever, and don't yet know what that is.

I think that maybe we might make that a longrange goal,, to achieve sexuality that is 'normal' for our situations. So maybe instead of saying we stayed away from it, maybe we could say we are a bit closer to that goal. Celibacy can be normal sexuality for a time when we are not currently in a healthy sexual relationship. How about that? for now?

Yo Poe,

I saw nothing wrong with your initial post, sounded very honest and to the point. Good Job.

You want help, you're winning.

Peace.

I don't think it's a question of 'right' or 'wrong'. Honest and to the point is good, I agree... even if we are being honest and to the point about the sick things we do, and the confusions that we have. We are all here because we need to do self-improvement.. even the spouses and friends.