Sex Offenders Wife Community Group

A place where wives, ex-wives, and girlfriends of sex offenders can share with each other.

376 Members
187 Posts
0 Online
/ Sex Offenders Wife Support Group

Scared and worried....

shadedvenom
shadedvenom

I've been with my fiance for 5 years now...  Knowing him for 14 years total. Best friends..  I caught him percorming sexual acts on my daughter.  I am sickened to the core mainly because its not him.  Hes always been a defender of children and women.  My daughter is 12 and i know she's not mentally alright.  Shes acting as if nothings ever happened..  Happy go lucky.  Ive already got her into couseling because i am unsure now if this hasnt happened before and i didnt know it.  I pressed charges against him.  I then dropped them the next day.  Its really hard to express my views on this because after all..  Its my daughter!  Im struggling...  He has tons of mental issues stemming from childhood but i am not about to give him a reason to use an excuse..  Theres no way.  I am not ready to give up on him!!  If i even stay connected with him in any way,  ive already been threatened!!  This is not him...  Ever!!!  I think something has caused him to snap!!!  Please help!!!!

at0310
at0310
Is he still living with you? What did he say when you confronted him?
neverbetter22
neverbetter22
WoW She is only 12. Mayb not see him for awhile.
Rollerblade_Girl
Rollerblade_Girl
I'm sorry but I don't agree with this, that is your daughter and not pressing charges makes it look like what he did to her was okay in your eyes and you chose him over her, I think I'm going to be sick because you are going to let him get away with it, I myself am married to an SO but it's wrong to be on his side
Imstillyourmom
Imstillyourmom
I think we have three individuals who need help. You as a mother must protect your child from this person. Why would you ever drop the charges? He also needs help immediately and your daughter. Being a victim as a young child of this happening to me it just doesn't go away it stays with you forever believe me. I am sorry but you keep saying this is not him well he did it so he needs to be accountable and if I knew where you lived I would report this to CPS because that is not a healthy or safe environment for a 12 year old child. I think all need some counseling and please stop sticking up for him he is a grown adult. Just my opinion.
Dazed730
Dazed730
I understand that you're confused while I may not agree with the reasons or the final decision that you made. This is why some municipalities do not just drop charges once they have been filed.

I would definitely be careful because there therapist is likely a mandated reporter and ur putting yourself at risk to face charges too. I had a CPS case opened against me when I filed charges against my ex. They have to assume you aren't capable of making safe decisions for her.

Side note: I hope he's not still in the house seeing as you literally caught him...
thundergryffin
thundergryffin
I speak with love. This is a very difficult time. You are a mother first, above everything else. She needs to know you are going to protect her. She won’t be able to deal with it until you do. Legally, you’re now getting yourself in trouble if you continue to allow him in your home where your daughter lives. He needed a mother to care for him and give him tools to cope. But you’re not that person. She’s not even a teenager yet, she needs you to make that hard choice and protect her right now. I hope you an your daughter find healing and peace.