I didn't age gracefully or slowly. I suddenly realized I was OLD when I turned 65 (66 now). I had my first visit to a hospital, for surgery. I had panic attacks and hallucinated all night. Since then I have had several more hospital stays, all for different things. I am going to be on a first name basis with the paramedics soon. The irony is I was an RN in the cardiac care Unit at UCSF Med Center at one time. But being  a patient is an entirely different experience!!!

I had not even been to a doctor for 30 years, not even for a checkup. That was due to an abusive marriage of 30 years to a dentist who did not believe in doctors and didn't want to waste money on me. I divorced, but I guess my physical problems have caught up with me. I also have PTSD from my marriage.

Medicine has radically changed since I was an RN. Doctors actually touched people. Patients wore a gown so they could be examined. You could call a doctor and they would call you back, not their receptionist. The doctor would tell you the diagnoses, not the assistant on the phone.

After my release from the hospital for surgery, I developed severe pain at the site and called the doctor's answering service at 2 AM. I called back at 3 AM and she was surprised I had not gotten a return call. She tried again for me and told me she had left him 3 messages and it was an emergency. Finally she said if he didn't call me within 30 min, to call 911. At 4AM I called 911 and was admitted to the hospital for internal bleeding at the surgical site. The doctor never spoke to me, but a few days later the receptionist called and said to make an appointment with the doctor. Why? the emergency was over.

A couple of months later another doctor put me on some medication. I had a severe allergic reaction, swelling and open sores from head to toe, even in my mouth. For 2 days I never got a return call. Finally called 911, went to the hospital and was immediatelly told to stop the medication. I was going into anaphilactic shock, put on IVs and spent the night. My doctor never called back, but his receptionist did, to tell me the doctor was putting me on a different medication!

The internest schedualed me for a bunch of tests a couple of months ago. He said everything looked fine. I made an appointment with him to talk face to face and asked what 'fine' meant. It had been 30 years since I was tested for anything, surely something had changed. Did he really mean 'fine' or was it 'fine' for someone 66 years old? Personally, I did not feel 'fine'.

So he said I already knew I had severe arthritis in all my joints including my back, and a herniated cervical disk with a little nerve damage and spinal stenosis with sciatica, bone spurs in all my joints and a couple of broken bones that had not healed correctly.....and a few more things.....but he asked if I had ever been told I had chronic Hepatitis C? And why didn't I get treatment for it? My jaw dropped, not because of the Hep, but because I never knew I had anything wrong and never been diagnosed so why did he tell me all my tests looked fine???? No wonder he had not treated any of my problems. He figured since I was old I already knew about everything I had. I was a new patient and he never even touched me. The nurse took my bp, temp (it was 96.2) and pulse. What was he getting paid for??? He was the one who put me on the medication I was allergic to. Then he told me he had an ambulance waiting to take me to the hospital. What??? He told me I had a stroke. Not a real big one, but I needed to be hospitalized. (yes, it turned out I had had a stroke).

Do all of us 'old' people get treated like this? Have they ever had a visit (other then GYN and proctos) when clothes were removed and the doctor actually palpated their stomach, looked into their ears and eyes, touched them? Asked if it hurt when they pushed in a certain place? Told them what was wrong and then described the treatment he would be ordering? Are there people here who actually call their doctor and their doctor actually calls them back even if it is 2 AM? Especially in an emergency? Do doctors ever prescribe pain medication or anti anxiety medication when it is needed (after surgery I was not given any pain medication) or are they so frightened of creating an addict or getting a call by the medical board telling them to not prescribe medication even if needed? My medical problems cause me a lot of pain and I am unable to do many things because of it. The doctor even said my back must cause me extreme pain, but he never offered any medication to relieve it. I don't understand. Is it Medicare? The doctors? Or am I in denial and all of this is totally normal and how medicine is practiced now? And when you get old you have to accept the fact that pain in now a part of your life and it will only get worse as you get older, so why bother treating your pain. It is a normal part of aging...

I am totally confused. Can anyone explain why getting old means pain is an accepted part of your life now and no longer treated? Touching is no longer necessary? Are doctors now using video's in place of face to face and touching patients?