ShihloSL... this breaks my heart reading this. Where do you live, do they have Uber? That would get you around pretty cheap. Are there any senior activity centers near you? You're not useless! You raised 4 beautiful children and have been involved in the church community, I wouldn't call that useless!

I haven't checked this sight much since joining but I wanted to say that you aren't useless!
I feel that way myself sometime and my family lives nearby. I think I feel that way because
I'm old and can't get around like I use to and I can't do the things I use to do and want to do.
It has been awhile since your post and I hope you are feeling better about things. Maybe
finding a Bible believing church would help. Sometimes a church will offer counseling which
would be good if you are depressed. Take care of yourself. God bless you.

No uber here, no taxi, no public transportation. VERY small town, in the middle of nowhere. I can get a county supported ride to specialist appts, which are 2+ hrs away. I can borrow a vehicle from someone in the church, which I do, for my dr appt.s in the next town. Then I get to do shopping. I do that about once a month. Few churches here, and this one seems the best one here. And I can walk there if my RA and weather allow. Another SS teacher will give me rides to church. In my mind I know God is enough if I have no one else. But I'm dealing with the feelings. I have survived so many things in my life and felt God's care. But I feel like I'm invisible here, I don't fit. And I don't know how that can be, as I'm here, and God can use us anywhere. I tried talking to the young pastor once, but he's so busy and just not easy to talk to. Like there's no feelings there. I'm trying to get some help from thru the state dept on aging.....I want to sell my little house, get a vehicle and move to where there are more resources. Kind of overwhelming. My attitude is bad, I know.....I know to keep it between the Lord and me. It's God's life, and I'm griping.

Hey Shiloh, welcome aboard. I've been on a trip, so just back on line. So understand the feeling of being useless. I try to stay away from what I used to be able to do. Hurt foot and back on trip, so had to deal with wheelchairs at the airports. A hard pill to swallow. I'm glad you are able to be active. Being around young children is such a gift. Moving is always overwhelming, but especially as we have aged. I have no doubt you would be missed by many if you left. God will guide you on that decision. Healing hugs.

ShilohSL I know all about tiny little towns in the middle of nowhere. I live in one too. My nearest town is over 12 miles away and is also tiny, but it does have what I need and the shopkeepers are friendly and helpful. The little library is my favorite place to go.
I too am considering selling my home and moving somewhere that would make me feel more independent.

Wanted to thank you all for the encouragement. I was just diagnosed with colitis and diverticulosis Monday. (Ah! So that's why I lost 30 lbs in 2 months the hard way!) I know a lot of my emotional down is related to all I've physically gone thru. The Lord has gotten me thru so much in life, and always will. He IS enough. Mother's Day was especially hard this time. My daughter sent my SISTER Mother's Day flowers. She has just started calling my sister. I wondered why my sister was suddenly rude to me. My daughter poisons relationships. She hates me because I sided with her ex for custody of my little granddaughter, as my daughter was on drugs and neglecting her. She still hasn't forgive me, though it's been 16 yrs, and she's remarried and off drugs! I'm sure my sister is getting a lot of stories. My town is 15 miles from the nearest other town. We have a dollar store, one grocery story, little else. Town of about 4,000 people, they say, but I think they include dogs and cats and horses in that. A lot of drugs, a lot of thefts. Anybody want to buy a cute little one bedroom house? Mother's Day was especially hard. My son did text me and we had a good conversation. We both prefer texting. The winter cold is harder on me every winter, it seems. I want to move near San Antonio, TX. A few people may miss me a bit, but I'm already "out of sight, out of mind". What's the difference being alone there than here, except there are more things I can do there. Maybe find a good church. Maybe a low income senior living community/apartment. As if I could afford it, lol. I need a miracle. My son invited me, twice, to move there, but their winters are brutal. Don't know what I'd do if my daughter poisoned my relationship with my son, with her lies. But he is a Christian.

What a rough ride. Yep, the diagnoses are not fun. Would like to get you know you better. I live in Dallas, but have spent time in most of the big cities here. Out a bit today, and drained me, but will be back on tomorrow. Hugs.

I’m late offering encouragement too and while I don’t live in a small town, I can assure you it is just as lonely in a larger place - sometimes it feels worse.
I understand the pain children cause as only someone you love unconditionally can - I only have one child, a son with no children, and I adore him but he has no time for me and it makes me feel very sad and like a failure. His wife posts major things on Facebook that I knew nothing about. Big things like changing jobs and moving far away.
But what keeps me focused is my faith. As deeply as I hurt and feel rejected, I know I am loved by God and He understands my pain since many of His children have rejected Him. I realize I have felt pretty useless at times just as you have but as others have mentioned we all have worth and value. Sometimes we just need someone else to remind us.

One thing that I keep visible is Footprints In The Sand. Very easy to look up on internet, although found a pretty one in a dollar store. It reminds me that God will always carry us through the hardest of times. Even in your small town, there may be volunteer opportunities. That may help you feel less useless. Healing and comforting hugs.

A little mystery here as this moved up without a new reply. Still here and hoping more replies come in. Hugs to all who read this.

I have worked hard my entire life and began working when I turned 13 and except for a few months of unemployment here or there I worked until I turned 55 and then could retire.

I find myself dealing with loneliness and depression, I am used to being in a work place which always supplied the people I would socialize with...now I have relocated to a small town in New Hampshire...but to me I call it a small town because I lived in Anchorage for many years, but you probably wouldn't call this a small town.

I have the puritan work ethic and for a long time it was difficult to take time for myself..and I found myself wishing for another relationship...but I always end up doing the increased chores and cooking too...I don't think I have good personal boundaries and at this stage in my life changing all that is just too much...so I don't think I want that for myself anymore.

I thought about moving closer to my children, but you know no one helped me raise them and they are just fine.

This end of life time is all about me and it is my time to make myself my top priority.

I moved to this small town to be closer to my sisters, but this has not worked out for me and now I feel sad that I betrayed my own wants and desires. I want to live near the ocean and hear the waves every day...I would rather live in 250 square feet near the ocean than in 1,000 square feet 3 hours in land. I always feel my healthiest and happiest when I live near the ocean.

Unfortunately I have spent all my money on this small in land home and I do not think I will be able to sell it...so getting away from this mess I have created this time will be challenging.

Why did I tell you so much about myself? Because I am a narcissist? No. I did it so that you can experience how I think for a minute and see if there is anything I have said that you may reflect on that will be helpful to you in your life. I would like you to say that you are a kind valuable person who deserves this remaining time for yourself and that you are going to discover what makes you happy and try to go catch some of that happiness. :)


So whenever you talk about feeling useless try focusing on yourself and see that you align your life to meet your goals...figuring out what you really want is the hardest part.

I think that I could be happy living here, but why keep on trying to put the square peg in the round hole...life is short.

It sounds like children are your joy and working with the kids is important to you...