Can you call there father? I hope shes okay, does she do that often, drop them off and dont return for a long time. Cant believe she left at 2 in the morning to go look at a place.

Thats a scary situation, dont know if shes in trouble, has a boyfriend, drunk doing drugs I dont know her but makes one wonder if she does that to you.

Just call their dad, make him responsible also.

I am sorry you are in such a situation

Get Real! He is the reason they are homeless. He lead her to believe the rent had been paid for the last 3 mos. They parted. He took his unemployment with him. She got padlocked - lost everything.

I know she is going through a lot right now but she is overwhelmed and behaving very irresponsibly but I am stuck in the middle.

Said she got a call at the gas station getting cigarettes. Her girlfriend had a lead on a place for her to go. I just haerd from her about two hours ago. Said she is meeting up with the guy who has the apt. It is 6:40pm

I am the only one who hasn't left her. But her behavior is overwheming for me too.

Just thought my friends at DS may have some suggestions for the long run of what I can do besides pray. And speaking of prayer - She just came in the door.

Sorry I didnt have a clue your family circumstances, I am new, Should have not tried to help, Just reading what you wrote and responding,

Sorry I scared you or anybody off - I so appreciate your remarks. maybe that is why nobody else tried to help me out. I am new also. I guess I misunderstood about DS support. I do feel this is an elder issue. Don't most of us here have grown children? I have seen posts about 'estrranged adult children'. What about the opposite when you want to help but you are tapped out? Am I in the wrong support group to ask something like this? If I am - please tell me - I won't do it again....

Thats fine with me, ask away. I just didtn want to offend you.
I know its hard but the old TOUGH LOVE trick works pretty good.

Let them stand on their own two feet and dont be afraid to say NO

Just need to speak up. It has nothing to do with your love for your grandchildren you love them know matter what but you arent the mother.
Some kids take advantage of the love we hae for the grandkids.

Just have to look out for yourself and speak up.
.

You are in the right group...a group of friends! I am so glad your daughter returned and is safe. I can't imagine the 'what ifs' you had going through your mind.

Take care and keep us posted.

I understand your situation.
If this were my situation I would...

Keep going to my Al Anon meetings
Get support from Al Anon friends
Read Al Anon literature about "Letting Go"
Pray
Ask for help
Keep going to therapy
Learn about Boundary setting and practice it
Learn the language (words) to use when dealing with daughter

Learn and Accept I am POWERLESS over the behaviors of people in my life.

Do whatever I can do protect myself

---------
If you need more information, pls. message me.
I care.

Tough Love is sometimes difficult when there are children involved, as grandparents will bend over backward to avoid the children getting hurt. I hope the apartment is suitable and that your daughter will be able to settle down soon. Let us know how you get on.

It's so hard to give anyone advice in a situation like this. Like you said, as seniors, most of have adult children and will have some bad exeriences where we feel like they are acting irresponsibly. You did the best you could possibly do, you kept the children safe and prayed for your daughter's safe return. I'm like the others here, you must look after yourself. I hope the apartment works out to be the perfect answer for everyone. Hugs, Joy

My daughter went to see the place today. Turns out to be a government project where "the place' is acutally a little conjoined townhouse. it would be great if she can get it. It is it's own unit with a small front and back yard, driveway and second floor.

The only problem is because she is homeless she has to go thru Urban League to get guarantee of first month's rent. It takes at least one month for that to come through. Welfare said they would give her Security payment.

But she must get a letter of intent to rent for that all to happen. He says he has two other people interested. I don't doubt it as it is a sweet deal for someone who has nothing and doesnt mind a little violence in the neighborhood.

If anybody out there believes in prayer I would be forever grateful if you would help me to pray a lot of love towards the guy who rents to be persuaded in her favor.

Thanks guys for the support through this - I have been a shutin for the last two years though I am slowly emerging. i don't have a lot of personal contacts except for online.

She went out tonight with her friends. She is spending the day tomorrow going with the girls to Toys For Tots as all her presents were confiscated by the landlord. They will also be going to see Santa. And looking at all the Christmas decorations at the Mall.

I was sick today. She even noticed. Said I looked gray. Asked me what was wrong. I told her I can't take all the contention and arguing and it was making me sick.

The place she was looking at which I really hopes she gets is a little far from here. I no longer drive so I can only use handicap transit. But I want what is best for her and the chidren of course.

Sorry, but why would I want to "continue going to my Alanon meetigs"? I don't now or don't believe I have a reason to go. Do I?

I prayer things work out soon for you, its time for some peace in your life and no worries, We have enough without extra.

Family stress can cause us alot of pain and unhappiness in our lifes.
You are doing all you can do so be proud of yourself. The grandchildren know you love them and thats very umportant. They need some security in their lifes and you are it.

Sending our a prayer that this Christmas things will turn around for your family

Thanks Poopy (lol)!!!

your welcome DEAD lol