I don't know how to begin except to ask the question, "what about oral sex is most satisfying to a guy?"

I know it will sound strange to say this, but because my partner is not at all verbal I have found myself wishing that I could stop being a gal for just one day so I would know what is most pleasurable for guys.

I've read everything I can get my hands on about impotence resulting from radiation because of prostate cancer. Doing research through the Internet and books is one thing, but it's not the same as having someone share their experience one-on-one. I have hesitated posting this question because I am not a person who feels comfortable about airing my personal life. I would not be doing it now except that in the years I have been part of DS I have found that our members are willing to be honest about their experiences......in order to help the rest of us through puzzling times in our lives. I'm hoping that some of you guys will respond.

My friend lives in another state, we have known each other for going on 2 years, we talk every day/night, the mileage between us is 250 miles each way. He had a trucking business on the West Coast and also drove for a time so he feels that the distance between us is "a hop, skip and a jump." He comes to visit whenever he can. We have both lost our spouses, we were married for many years, we have only had one partner in all those years, we are in our 70's and we have talked frankly about the importance of being sexually close. I never dreamed I could be intimate with another person; it just happened.

I have told him that it would be better for him if he would say what he is feeling when we are being intimate. He says he feels what I feel, but he's uncomfortable about expressing it. I guess being a gal I'm more comfortable (that is, after I get over being embarrassed about discussing intimate things) that I can put my feelings into words. I want to give the most pleasure to this special person, but I have to ask him "How does this feel?"......"Does this feel good?" He tells me "yes," but there are no sounds, no words until he is about to climax. Having grown up in the "Dark Ages".....(the 50's), being vocal about intimate things comes hard.

I'm asking myself what can I do to make sure that I am doing all I can to make our intimate time together the best for him. I think I need a "how to" manual.