Give some specific examples of the secrecy and privacy you are referring to.

Some examples of the "secrecy" and "privacy" I was referring to would be political, religious, sexual, romantic, etc. Not everyone wants to tell everything to anyone, even to their spouse. For example, I often dreams asleep and would not want to communicate some of those to my wife. Everyone tries to control the perceptions that others, even spouses, have of them. Another example: my romantic past. It's quite extensive and I wouldn't want to detail my love affairs to my wife, overburdening her with all that. Would I like her to know that one of my loves was an incredible sexual partner? Not really. Would I like her to know that third girlfriend had the world's most beautiful breasts? No. Would I like her to hear my opinions on certain political things. No likely.

Yes I understand and agree that we are all entitled to our private inner lives and there is no need to blurt out all details of our lives prior to meeting our spouses.
I also agree with you about political opinions if you can't have a reasonable discussion about differing ones.

I guess it depends on the couple. I suppose any degree of privacy (don't like the term secrecy) is acceptable as long as both partners are aware of that level. In order words, if you wife thinks she knows all aspects of your personality or all the important things from your past and you are allowing her to think this even though it is not true . . . that is very dangerous for the relationship and unfair to her. Yet, if you have told her that you are a very private person and do not want to discuss some aspects of your past that are truly in the past and she is okay with that . . . then that could work. Intimate sexual details from past relationship should stay in the past, for most people. Yet, emotional skeletons are sometimes best discussed and put to rest, depending on the people involved. Bottom line . .. the amount of shared intimacy, emotional and sexual, in a relationship should be something that is discussed and decided among both partners. Just my opinion . . . , but, for me, true bonding requires a lot of sharing . . . maybe not everything, but most everything.

I just read the topic "Sex vs. Love Dilemma" on the Healthy Sex Support Group."

The replies to the topic are just what I meant by asking the question about "openness." There this woman is having a gigantic sex-time with a man. Read the topic there and ask yourself if a person (man or woman) had a time like this, how could he/she ever be honest and truthful about it with the person they loved? Impossible. So therefore I say all this "complete honesty" stuff is so much b.s.