i'm sorry that you're going through this......a motivation ot stop cutting could be how proud your son will be of you if you don't cut.....think about how proud he will be of his mom........maybe you could call him and tell him that you would like to see him b/c you miss him....good luck!!!

One mindset that is of great help, be better than the scars. Beat them. If you stop cutting, then you beat them. they lost. if you cut, it's okay, they won't beat you until it kills you. But just try to look at them and say "I'm better than you, punk" it ay seem silly but looking at it from a competitve veiw is a great selfmotivator.

I havent used si for 12 years. I really havent worked my recovery much for months. This week I have seen a couple of big red flags. I know when i see my big red flags, I get help. I did not get much time in recovery alone. I need you. I needed to read your story. I can see myelf past in your words...and my future if I dont get back to work. Some of my big red flags are suicidal thinking, desire to self injure, acting out using other addictions. The one that brought me here is suicidal fantasy. a couple of days ago I found myself thinking of a particular way to kill myself. MY so slow response time...I really have to get to work. MY first instinct is to call someone who cares. This is an instinct learned from practicing healthy behavior over years. I have made many phone calls. I am safe. One thing I noticed is that I have neglected my recovery. My support group is smaller than it should be. I practiced self injury alone and hid my practice even from myself. WE recover together. I need your support. I think you might need mine. MY big red flags tell me something is wrong. They tell me stop, look think get help. I have a programn of recovery I have worked, that worked for me because I worked it and because I used my support. I am scrambling now. MY flag scares me. I dont want to go back. MY life has been far from perfect in recovery but it has been so much better than active addiction was. I am accepting all friend requests. I do have experience in recovery. I need all of you so I can stay away from self injury and the rest of my escape methods.

I define recovery as a process of transformation from a life of self destruction to a life of self care.

What I really need right now is a meeting. I have never actually been to a meeting for self injury. I used my other meetings and my other support groups and professional help when i first began to face my self injury. I applied things I had learned in ga and na to my si. It worked for me. I know it doesnt work unless I work it. I dont have a single person to talk with for support right now so I am making my own meeting.

Jessica welcome back into recovery. YOu dont have to figure it all out. WE have to learn recovery together. We have to share our experience strength and hope with one another. I am grateful to you for sharing your experience. I am sorry for your suffering. NO matter how much I know about recovery It doesnt work until I put it into practice. I have to bring honesty openmindness and willingness here. I have to practice these, that is HOW it works. I have to keep coming back. I havent been doing that very well. I have to surround myself with support so when I see my big red flags I have support available to me. I havent been working my program or I wouldnt feel like I am in crisis. In fact I am going to call Ga hotline now. I know I can get a meeting over the phone. any meeting is better than no meeting.