Hey. I don't know if I can give you advice, but I can relate and maybe offer my own experiences... I've been clean for over 20 months now. That's a long time and I'm certain that I'm not going to do it again. But there was a time that I was doing it, and I was in a place similar to where you are now: cave in to the urges, or keep going. The thing about caving into the urges is that while it's the easier option, in the long term it just makes it more difficult to stop. And you've mentioned that you want to stop... I said earlier that I've been clean for over 20 months. I still get urges sometimes but they are much less compulsive. It gets easier. As you go along, it gets easier. So I guess the little advice I can give is that you need to be strong (Yes, easier said than done) and know that if you need to talk, there are always people to listen, and if there aren't, well then you have me.

What helped me most is to really think about WHY I want to cut. Was I bored? Hurt? Angry? Sad? Numb and wanting to feel anything?

Once I came to the conclusion as to why, I set a timer for 1 hour. I told myself I would go do something else to distract myself, be it a shower, walk, exercise and that when the timer went off and I still wanted to cut, then I'd let myself. Little by little I set the timer for longer and longer. I wrote down what helped me, and what didn't.

What helped most was if I went out somewhere in public where I couldn't cut. Sure beats staying at home. Maybe go out and buy something nice for yourself?

I know it sounds lame but you can get a calendar and a bunch of smiley face stickers. Each day you don't cut, put a sticker on the calendar. Don't get caught up with days in a ROW clean for now, just focus on how many days you've resisted and won! It's a lot less discouraging to start that way you know?