Not most of you know me I am new here. I haven't really posted anything because well was kinda nervous at first. I don't like to talk about things like this but they say it helps to talk. I have cut for 4 years and been free a few weeks everything is healed up except my scars. I just feel so...dead on the inside and as i stated in my journal i wrote today, if you feel dead on the inside why not physically? They say its whats on the inside that counts most right? I'm fighting for my place to live and my job at the moment also my relationship, my partner says everything`s fine but I don't feel like its fine. Maybe im exaggerating on the relationship...I just feel the urge to do it and yes like many people say theres a part of me that doesnt want to. Its a war inside my mind. I feel like no one cares about anything i go through. My GM (General Manager) sure doesnt and I live with him. He was nice enough to let me stay at his place but I feel like deep down hes so cold and only cares for himself. He doesnt understand my problems...they are effecting or affecting whichever one to properly use my job and relationship to a certain extent and then i feel lost and lonely and I HATE TO BE ALONE which I spend most of my time...I hate it so much! The temptation grows stronger..I try to fight it off...but I feel so worthless so whats the point of another scar?...just to show another problem in my life. I believe what doesnt kill you scars you and sometimes leaves you fragile..not always makes you stronger.
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