Self-Injury Support Group

Whether you or someone you know or love struggles with self-injury, this is the community to discuss your experience, find support, meet others going through the same, and get advice on how to stop. Working together, we can help find alternative coping skills to reduce the urge to self-harm.

3,568 Members

20,524 Posts

0 Online

musicmad123 03/02/2008

so people have been telling me to tell my parents about my cutting, depression etc. I've been leaning towards telling them because I can't go to see this new therapist my counselor wants me to see without telling them apparently, I've already said if I decide to tell them I cannot do it myself, well i cannot do it alone, she said one of my teachers could have like a meeting with them, which sounds like what im gonna have to do, its either gonna be her(my counselor) which im not sure about, my parents don't know im in counseling so they'd be like hey whos this person and im not sure, then there Mrs.Downer, she's head of pastoral care, I know her she teaches me, in a way she would be good because she gets straight to the point, she knows what shes doing when shes dealing with this kind of stuff, shes oldish, well shes not old but yeh, she has experience, but i've never really talked to her, and she doesn't know how i feel. then theres Mrs.Mills who is my head of year, but Im thinking not here because she doesn't really know anything about me and my parents don't know her,
then theres miss smith, shes my tutor, I tell her everything shes known about my cutting basically from the near beginning, she is so awesome, i talk to her a lot, she saved my life, she got me into counseling and came with me on my first session, she looks after me, and my mum knows her, the thing is shes 25, shes a biology teacher, Im finding this hard to explain, i luv her and in a way i think it would be easier if she could tell my parents but I mean shes young, she doesn't have much experience in this kind of stuff, it kind of goes beyond her job description, i don't know if she's feel comfortable doing such a massive thing...
so Im really quite stuck as to what to do, i should i just tell them myself...?
thanks if you read this even if you don't relaly have advice replies would be very appreciated :) x

deleted_user 03/02/2008

maybe you could tell your parents but have like your tutor and couple other that your parents know be there with you for YOUR support. they probably have idea something is wrong because most cutters show symptoms like being secerective,being alone,lots trips to room or bathroom. we here for you.

deleted_user 03/02/2008

I'd tell your parents about the counceling first,you don't want to frighten them with too much at once,they will get upset,you know they will,and you might feel like they will never understand you,but we do and thats what we are here for,talk to us.

deleted_user 03/02/2008

I don't know if I really have any advice for you, but I feel that I can relate to you. I have not told my parents yet either, and need to because of counseling and for other various reasons. I have been contemplating telling them for months now, but haven't found the strength to actually do it. I admire your courage and that you are taking the necesary steps to help yourself through all this. I personally think that you should be the one to tell your parents, but having others there for support is a great idea. Good luck to you....I would really like to hear how it goes when you tell them.

deleted_user 03/02/2008

Hiya,
I would go for your form tutor simply because you don't have to do so much explaining as she already knows the situation. You will probably need to do some explaining to your parents afterwards anyway, and you don't want to have to go over it too many times.

I know your teacher seems young but she has been empathic enough for you to be able to talk to her about it without freaking out, so I would say she's your best bet.
It's cool that you will be getting the help that you need. I had to see a therapist for quite a while before I could stop cutting but I know I would never have been able to stop if I had not got therapy.
Good luck with it all.
If I can help in any way (I know I am REALLY old but ...LMAO) please do PM me.
Best Wishes

lyn

deleted_user 03/02/2008

I agree with Serenity. Have someone with you who has been with you all the way so far so that they can be there to support you when you tell your parents. Good luck. Sending hugs.

deleted_user 03/02/2008

Well you need to tell your parents. I suggest getting your counselor, teachers who are supportive, and your tutor and since they know you could tell your parents with them. You could also get one of them that you trust the most and you could write a letter explaining it and when you give it to them you don't have to do so much talking.

I don't know if this helped, but I'm here if you ever need to talk.

*hugs*
~Rabbit

musicmad123 03/02/2008

thanks for the replies people I really appreciate it, I think I'll ask my tutor and maybe I could be there, well i'll keep you opsted on how it goes thanks x

musicmad123 03/03/2008

just to say my mum found out i have counseling today, well she found my appointment slip,and i refused to talk about it so she doesn't reeeally know,, but tomorrow I'm going to speak to my tutor and ask her if sh'll help me tell my mum... so wish me luck

deleted_user 03/03/2008

Good luck,take care and try and stay safe.

try2smile 03/03/2008

I think you should at least ask miss smith if you feel so comfortable with her and she knows about it all. If she says no then you could go with your second choice but i dont think you should tell them yourself as it could worse for you and your parents there likely to react in a more caring way if a professional speaks to them and explains whats happening parents dont really understand kids lol. Hope your ok big hugs

musicmad123 03/04/2008

thanks for the luck people who messaged and hugged me :) I asked miss smith today, she said she would help and she said she would go and think of how to tell her, so I'm kinda trying not to think about it but I have to decide what I want to tell her, so yeh will keep you posted thanks guys you're all fab x

deleted_user 03/04/2008

I wish u all the luck in the world.....I remember when my mom found out..it was a hard time but i got the help i was looking for...no i didnt stop cutting but had some things to think about.....luck to u again XXX

deleted_user 03/04/2008

did you know that if you call the suicide hotline (1-800-suicide) then they will tell your parents if you ask them to. or they will offer to.
you should call and talk to someone on the phone, it doesn't have to be when you are feeling bad, and it doesn't have to be becuase you are feeling suicidal or anything. just someone *who's trained* to talk to.
and if you feel comfortable with the person on the phone, you can ask them to tell your parents.
and they always offer to do it too.
i'm not sure exactly how it works when they tell, i didn't let my parents know that way, but i do have some friends who used the hotline to let their parents know.
give it a try, call and talk to someone about telling your parents. they'll tell you what they think is best.

Join the Conversation