A week now... a week without Tyrone, a week without Chippy a week of screaming with lack of sound. I am so ready to curl into a dark corner and disappear. I cant seem to keep myself together all by myself. Ive leaned so heavily on 2 of my friends this week that it's stressed them, and God above knows thats the last thing I wanted to do. I just.... I cannot stand the silence because I am toxic to myself. I feel like cutting again, feel like giving up, and feel like Im losing who I was.... I smiled just a couple days ago... what happened to that Jenn?
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??