okay so i dont know whats wrong with me. my emotional levels are really shaky, my grades have dropped again, i dont care about anything again, and i always have urges for no reason. im in a bad mood i want to cut but i threw the last of the razors i had away today,. i really regret that right now (i still get that its for the best but i can help but being really sad about it).i noticed that i just started hating myself for no apparent reason to me and its getting harder for me to control my feelings. i mean im not that kid that breaks down in front of people but over the past three months ive gotten into 3 fights over stupid shit, threatened to kill my best friend over stupid head phones, and cried in front of like 20 people for something that happened when i was 13 that i swear i had gotten over. i cant help myself im losing it and dont know what to do and i really really badly want to just cut myself and for once in my life im scared how badly i want to and how deep i want to cut. im scared that im gonna do something stupid thats gonna fuck up my future, right now with my grades im not even gonna pass 11th grade and for some reason i barely care but i still know im scared you know(if you get my crazy talk). what should i do i dont think i can hold out until i see my therapist?