Self-Injury Support Group
Whether you or someone you know or love struggles with self-injury, this is the community to discuss your experience, find support, meet others going through the same, and get advice on how to stop. Working together, we can help find alternative coping skills to reduce the urge to self-harm.
A few months ago I started choking myself with a shoelace sometimes when I did something wrong and especially when I hurt somebody's feelings. It was on and off at first. I talked to my counselor but honestly talking to my best friend helped more...I was already seeing the therapist for depression, social anxiety, and some suicidal urges that I had last year but for some reason she can't help me with this.
I haven't choked myself in a month, but a few weeks ago I hurt my mom's feelings so I picked up this kitchen knife when no one was around and cut myself with it. It happened so fast I barely realized it. The next time I saw that knife used, my dad was cutting up some squash for dinner and I nearly threw up...
A few days ago I started cutting again after weeks of just scratching. The first night I made 4 cuts, the second 6, the third 4, I can't remember the next couple but I know that I made five cuts today, all on my left arm around the elbow. No one knows that I cut and my parents don't know that I self-harm at all. I'm scared because I'm getting to the point where I can't sleep unless I cut first, because it does help with the stress that I'm never without anymore. I'm also terrified because I'm applying for a teaching job at the pool and I won't have any way to hide the cuts if I'm in a swimsuit...And in a few months, during the summer, I'll have to go hiking with my parents and I'll have to wear short sleeves and even if I manage to stop cutting they'll see the scars then...
When I'm not having the urge to cut, I'm angry with myself for doing it because I'm supposed to be the "good" kid in the family. I'm the one with straight A's, the one who's actually going to go to college. The one who can be social. I'm the one who gets mad and depressed like everyone else but I always come out of it. Everyone, especially my family, views me like that but really I'm falling apart. I'm scared to tell anyone that. And I don't know how long I can hold myself together if this continues. But at the same time I'm scared that I can't stop.
I haven't choked myself in a month, but a few weeks ago I hurt my mom's feelings so I picked up this kitchen knife when no one was around and cut myself with it. It happened so fast I barely realized it. The next time I saw that knife used, my dad was cutting up some squash for dinner and I nearly threw up...
A few days ago I started cutting again after weeks of just scratching. The first night I made 4 cuts, the second 6, the third 4, I can't remember the next couple but I know that I made five cuts today, all on my left arm around the elbow. No one knows that I cut and my parents don't know that I self-harm at all. I'm scared because I'm getting to the point where I can't sleep unless I cut first, because it does help with the stress that I'm never without anymore. I'm also terrified because I'm applying for a teaching job at the pool and I won't have any way to hide the cuts if I'm in a swimsuit...And in a few months, during the summer, I'll have to go hiking with my parents and I'll have to wear short sleeves and even if I manage to stop cutting they'll see the scars then...
When I'm not having the urge to cut, I'm angry with myself for doing it because I'm supposed to be the "good" kid in the family. I'm the one with straight A's, the one who's actually going to go to college. The one who can be social. I'm the one who gets mad and depressed like everyone else but I always come out of it. Everyone, especially my family, views me like that but really I'm falling apart. I'm scared to tell anyone that. And I don't know how long I can hold myself together if this continues. But at the same time I'm scared that I can't stop.
Moreover, are your parents aware of your depression? If they are, coming clean to them about your self harm may be a good idea, if they are supportive to you, then it could be beneficial towards getting you healthier coping skills.
Good luck!
I got three days without cutting, thought I thought about it all the time, then today I just broke down and cut myself 6 times. I lost some organ music today; it was a book of pieces my grandmother bought me and it sort of set me off.
I found out that I have a doctor's appointment scheduled for late March. My parents are bound to find out then because I know the doctor and she's the kind who will feel duty-bound to tell my parents.
I just feel trapped and depressed and like it'll never get better.
It didn't help; telling her; it made it worse. I just wish I'd kept my mouth shut.
Maybe she's right; maybe I am a coward.