Has anyone else grown up and have everyday, even as a child felt like they are tortured every moment of your life. Like it's not a person, it's a thing. Somthing inside me is causing me physical and mental pain. Every time I have a bad dream ( every night) I die in it, and everything hurts and you can't breathe. Every moment living in fear of what's next. It's like a form of a slow slow death. I can feel it killing me, eating at me from the inside. I think that's why I feel like death would be a good thing. I could finally have relief. I could speed up the process by killing myself. I'm a dead girl anyways. It's just taking too long with too much pain. I'm being tortured to death. There is no relief. But each time I've tried to kill myself, I come back. I always see the light, but I'm pulled back to life. I'm being forced to live, just to be tortured... Im so confused. I know I have a purpose and my life is precious and blah blah blah, yes. I know that! I just want to know if anyone else is going through what I am. Though I wouldn't wish this on anyone. It's terrible, and I can't stop it...