Self-Injury Support Group
Whether you or someone you know or love struggles with self-injury, this is the community to discuss your experience, find support, meet others going through the same, and get advice on how to stop. Working together, we can help find alternative coping skills to reduce the urge to self-harm.
I havent cut in about a year and a half and now Im eyeing my pencils and scissors and picturing me taking them and stabbing them through my wrists and ripping them out the other side, and morbid stuff of doing and trying to kill myself. I want to tell my councilor but Im afraid she will commit me and I have college shit to do. I dont know what to do, Im in one of those states where I am vulnerable to anything. I have split personalities and Im kinda in between them right now. Im really suffering here Im fighting myself not to and I feel like Im crazy and, ok heres something to give a better picture. Have you seen that movie with Adam Sandler called "Reign on me"? He lost his family in a plane crash and he has post traumatic stress disorder and he goes crazy after a few years and brings a gun out in public and tries to get run over. The guy stops the car and he pulls out the gun threatens to kill the guy if he doesnt run him over cuz he doesnt want to kill himself. Then cops come and tell him they'll shoot him if he didnt drop the gun and they tackle him he goes crazy all this you get the picture right??
I feel like that. I feel like risking my freedom, to get a weapon and bring it in public to get someone else to kill me. Im just about sin free so even if I was Christian I wouldnt have to worry about it. You know what? the ONLY thing keeping me from doing it is my friend Courtney. I know she would understand if I killed myself but she would be pissed at me and I dont want that. I feel like Im crazy, I know Im crazy Im told that often but they dont even know the HALF OF IT!!! Im pretty much pulling my hair out right now....yep theres some hair there, and Im just thinking about this stuff. i dont know what to do and I dont know if this should be advice or discussion so Im just leaving it at the default, discussion. Please reply I dont know what to do Im so confused and frustrated and just FPSIOUBHKVPWOEIGH{NOWEIHG:OCHKN PW{G"QU(|}F PWJ:RMOQ"IRMEF:PJ{}_
)U{POJRMHVF{(U"PJC:DNBI:QHF}
PCF}HG)
FJD:
I feel like that. I feel like risking my freedom, to get a weapon and bring it in public to get someone else to kill me. Im just about sin free so even if I was Christian I wouldnt have to worry about it. You know what? the ONLY thing keeping me from doing it is my friend Courtney. I know she would understand if I killed myself but she would be pissed at me and I dont want that. I feel like Im crazy, I know Im crazy Im told that often but they dont even know the HALF OF IT!!! Im pretty much pulling my hair out right now....yep theres some hair there, and Im just thinking about this stuff. i dont know what to do and I dont know if this should be advice or discussion so Im just leaving it at the default, discussion. Please reply I dont know what to do Im so confused and frustrated and just FPSIOUBHKVPWOEIGH{NOWEIHG:OCHKN PW{G"QU(|}F PWJ:RMOQ"IRMEF:PJ{}_
)U{POJRMHVF{(U"PJC:DNBI:QHF}
PCF}HG)
FJD:
You will get through it. When you are at rock bottom, there is no place to go but up!!!
Let me tell you something. I went to a mental hospital about 4 months ago. I felt like I couldn't control myself and I was afraid of what I would do. You should tell your counselor. She will do everything she can to keep you out of a mental hospital but..if you gotta go you gotta go. And it wouldn't be the end of the world. I know several wonderful people who have spent time in a hospital and they are doing great now and no one thinks less of them. Your health and well being are more important than ANY college stuff.
Your counselor is there for stuff like this and she would want to know and needs to know. She may have some great ideas to help you.
C'mon, it is NOT worth your life to keep it a secret from her. Please don't hurt yourself. There is so much more to do and see here!!!
Message me if you need me and I am praying for you..really.
It's amazing that you have not cut for so long. I used to 'put off' my suicide when I felt that way, so i would say to myself 'Well, if I still feel this bad in an hour (or 30 mins or whatever) I'll do it then and keep on that way.
Most of the time, I didn't actually want to die, but my life felt unlivable by me. It doesn't feel that way now and I have trained as a counsellor and psychotherapist, which is pretty mindblowing.
All the things that I have been through in my life, I can now use to help others.
Try not to escalate things in your mind (I know that's hard) and PLEASE talk to your counsellor.
Try to take care of yourself
Lyn