Self-Injury Support Group

Whether you or someone you know or love struggles with self-injury, this is the community to discuss your experience, find support, meet others going through the same, and get advice on how to stop. Working together, we can help find alternative coping skills to reduce the urge to self-harm.

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Krissanta 03/15/2007

I feel completely out of control and I just want to take my art knife and stab it into my leg and drag it until I see blood.

I feel like my whole body wants it, like my skin is screaming for it. I feel like bursting and the frustration is driving me crazy.

I don't know what to do except to just accept what my body cries for and just do it.

I even took the Klonopin. I am feeling no less anxious.

What do I do?

Krissanta 03/15/2007

Ok, I feel really badly, but I could not control myself. It was like my skin was screaming and I couldn't fall asleep over the cries. Now I just feel guilty. It is a small one, barely deep enough to bleed. The pain was enough and now I want to sleep.

Am I horrible?

deleted_user 03/15/2007

no.

Krissanta 03/15/2007

What makes you so sure I am ok? I mean I like your assessment, I am just afraid that I am an all around bad person, whore, stuff like that and you made it so simple. Is there something you can offer me?

deleted_user 03/15/2007

Do you know what made you want to cut? Like did something make you mad? Sad? I have trouble with feeling things especially things I'd rather never feel cause some feelings are not fun to have. If you can figure out what caused the urge and deal with that then you are less likely to automatically go to it again, as long as you stop and think then have other tools like writing calling a friend or coming on the site and just posting you need to talk...people will answer you. We are all on your side and will be here. if you need anything message me anytime, if I am not on I'll reply as soon as I can! Take care :)

deleted_user 03/15/2007

if it makes you feel any better, you aren't alone.. i gave in last night too..
i shouldn't have, but i did. and atleast you had the strength to only do one small one. i slipped up and did 15 small ones.. just know that you aren't alone on this one..

Krissanta 03/15/2007

I know what is wrong with me. I have been suffering with a chronic pain illness for several years now. Yesterday, I saw this doctor who was supposed to be a specialist and help me with my pain. After spending about an hour with me he basically said that because of all my other medical problems, he can't do anything to help me.

I felt so lost. I felt out of control. Like there was just nothing I can do. I feel dead but in all this pain I have no control over. When I cut, I have pain I have control over. Most of the time the cuts only have to be small with some blood and then I feel in control of myself again. Sometimes I just work my way up and down my arm.

My scars from the last time I went through this just went away. I don't want to go through the explain the scar thing, but I am not sure I can stop just yet.

I did tell my therapist today and she made me show her. She seemed disappointed in me. Well, at least I'm not dead yet.

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