Self-Injury Support Group

Whether you or someone you know or love struggles with self-injury, this is the community to discuss your experience, find support, meet others going through the same, and get advice on how to stop. Working together, we can help find alternative coping skills to reduce the urge to self-harm.

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Punkee 09/07/2008

Okay, so i used to be an SIer for about 3 years or so. i have horrible scars on my arms that i constantly hide. two of my friends were also "cutters" but never have to hide any marks because they never cut enough to bleed. in my eyes, i influence theyre "cutting" and, in my eyes, i believe theyre only doing it for attention. I brought up a concern with one of them the other day when we were in a conversation about it by saying "you know, i dont think those people who cut or used to cut that dont have to hide any evidence that it ever happend really had a problem with it". (no offense to anyone on DS please. no offense was intended). she replied by getting highly defensive and saying "you know. you need to stop acting like youre the only one who had a good reason to cut. you ALWAYS fucking do this. you ALWAYS act like no one else but you have any reason to cut, when i too had a problem with it". okay, it really ticked me off. first, i never said i was the only one with a good reason. second of all, she never had a problem with it. she never once tried to hide her so called "cuts" and it just pisses me off that i go through all this trouble to hide my scars and yet i get ridiculed for it. im sick of it. idk. i never said i had any kind of reason. all i was saying is that im sick of my friends trying to copy everything i do for attention. can i have an opinion from you guys please??

deleted_user 09/07/2008

i cut and i cut deep but the way my body and my skin are i dont scar very easy at all the only scars i have are from where i had to get stitches from it but if i hadnt gotten stitches there there would be no scar its just the way my skin is and i also heal a lot faster than most people but im not saying thats the case with them i have no idea how bad they actually cut im just speaking from my personal experience

deleted_user 09/08/2008

i totally know what you mean..my friend is like that too. i don't want to belittle her "problem" with SI because honestly i don't know exactly what she was thinking or going through when she did it, but i really think she only did it for attention. and then she started telling me stuff like "well if i can stop, you can too, so stop saying you can't." it was really annoying. she "cut" for like 3 months and compared it to me doing it for years. sorry i'm kind of rambling...but i know exactly what you mean. i hate that. i just try not to bring the subject up around people like that anymore.

Punkee 09/08/2008

i dont understand it either. my true opinion on it is that they only did it because and yes, although i do believe that there is no real "reason" to cut, i think out of the three of us that im the only one who had anything to really cut about so to speak. i was fucking molested and close to raped. they act like they have these huge problems or over exaggerate them. meanwhile, while im trying to STOP my self injury, they mention it and sometimes do it just because and then go and almost brag about it. it doesnt help me any. and then when i say something, they say something like in this post. i hate it. idk what to do.

deleted_user 09/08/2008

i dont want to sound rude because i understand what you mean, i have a friend that seems to cut for attention, but at the end of the day, you cant judge whether they have sufficiant reason to do so or not, because you dont need any particular reason to do it, nothing hugely bad has ever happened to me, i've lost a few relatives like everyone else, the only reason i can see is that i have a neglective family, and its not even that bad, no one would notice it if they were in my house, but having it my whole life its effected me, and its not much of a reason either, im just not a very stable person lol.
anyway im just saying dont judge them and say that you have more reason than them, or that they dont have a reason to do it, because you dont need a reason and ANY SI is serious, whether they draw blood or not, if they are trying to hurt themselves, its SERIOUS, even if it is for attention.

Punkee 09/08/2008

yes. but its very much annoying. they started because of me. and for that, i feel guilty.

deleted_user 09/08/2008

I understand that if you believe as you say you do that it must be annoying. That said:

Can I ask how you 'know' all of this about these people? You seem to have a very intimate knowledge of their motivations.

I have scars all over my arms from cutting, I hide them, and *I* would have taken offence with what you said.

I'm seeing this a lot all of the sudden - people judging other people's reasons for hurting themselves. We're *hurting ourselves*, guys. Whatever our reasons for doing it, we're all in trouble and we all need help, not criticism. Especially not from people who call themselves our friends.

Let's try a bit of compassion.

Punkee 09/08/2008

i "know" all this about them because they tell me. they brag about it and shove it in my face. im not trying to say theres a good reason for it, but if reason at all, they dont have one. and it irritates me that i cant hold a conversation about it because they blow up in my face and then mock me about it.

deleted_user 10/07/2008

I am a burner and I really think it is sad that this therad seems to be devoted to judgeing weather someone has the right to si.We are just humans and we dont know why someone esle does it and just becaude they talk about it does not mean they are giving the correct facts..and it also does not mean that they are attention seeking ... i have read in here that many go to the er and they are up set when the doctor just thinks your seeking attention.. so how do you think your friend is feeling. we should be there to support the person no matter what is making them do it or what is not making them do it it does not matter if they are attention seeking or not maybe that is the only way they know to be notice to hopefully get help ... and if you were to talk to me the way you posted I to would have been very offended and denfenseive abot the way you were talking this all is IMO and really has nothing to do with you at all...the post just struck me wrong... I have scars on my arms fromo buring they are all healed have not done it for 8-10 months. I let them show because i am not going to be hot in 95 degrees just so someone cant see them.. if it is a problem it is their problem not mine sorry for the rant it just torked me off.....sweets

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