It'll take time but it sounds to me like you're doing really well so far. The note book is a good idea, talking about it is really hard, even admitting to yourself you have a problem can be difficult. I've been cutting myself for years and haven't been able to tell anyone I know. And you know this stated before she was being bullied which is a big step to understanding how she feels. I think the best thing you can do for her now is just being there for her.

@suicidal thank you for your kind words.

Mom, I'm sorry that your family is going through such a difficult time. I am a woman who has had a very traumatic life. It took a lot of therapy, I mean years to work out my issues. I have had several suicide attempts. Thanks to the grace of God I'm still here. I cut because I hated myself, was ashamed of my life, felt guilty all the time, I felt like everyone was judging me. These are issues that can be worked out, if you have a good therapist. Unfortunately, It takes years to even trust one. I've been blessed with a good one for 9 years. I have not cut for 3 years.

This will be lengthy, but you need to understand what is going on. I will try to help you.

I would like to share with you what cutting did for me so that maybe you can understand your daughter better. I suffered a lot of trauma as a child and adult in my life. My pain was so intense in my mind and soul that I needed somehow to distract my inner turmoil with an outer pain. Therefore, I cut, burned and a lot of other things to transfer that inner pain to an outer pain that I could control.

I also cut to punish myself when negative thoughts took over my mind. When people judged me (your daughters bully's) I felt this dark depression consumed me with self hatred. I felt like I had no belonging and nobody cared for me and that I was not worthy of anyones love.

Then I cut to bleed the pain out of me. Now this is the worst thing that happen, I became addicted to the euphoric feeling I got when I cut when the blood poured out of my arm. It became my friend.

I did not want someone trying to fix me all the time. I just needed to be with someone. I mean not talking, just sit with me. Perhaps, sit with her on her bed, on the floor beside her bed. Just be there. Don't stare at her. Just be. Allow her to initiate the conversation. Let her feel your love. She needs to know that you like hanging out with her and want to listen to her. That worked for me when my sister did that for me.

What helped me? My therapist, psychiatrist, medication for depression and other meds to control the mood swings and psych medications. That took a long time to find the right ones.
Knowing that someone really loved me, that I was worth their time helped me. Knowing that I had family, church members praying for me made a big difference in my life. Pray for her.

Most importantly... God. I had to know the true God. Not the one who looks down on us and points his finger at us with a white beard and shaming us. I started reading the bible and found a bible teaching church. I started in John. I had to know who God really was and how to have a relationship with him. He was there when no one else was near. He became my friend. I found out how much he loved me and that I am a treasure in his eyes. He gave me strength to endure the darkness and I learned that I could go to him for comfort.

All we have to do is talk to him. We do not need a Holy prayer. Just talk and if there are no words to say, let your heart cry out to him. A prayer is a fallen tear drop.

He will hear your prayer. Exodus 22:27 says "when you cry out to God He will hear you, for he is a compassionate God."

I hope this helped you. May God be with you and your family in the healing process.

If you need to talk you can send me a note and I will get back with you!