That is so awful! I hope your friends daughter will be okay. That must be so stressful for you and I can understand why you feel helpless.

Why would they send you to jail if you cut? That just makes no sense to me.

Is there anyone there you can talk to that isn't judgmental and that would at least try to understand? And you are right that exercise doesn't always just fix everything because I try to do that too and sometimes it just isn't enough.

I'd go to jail for getting kicked out of rehab and get kicked out for cutting... People try to understand but I can't explain why I need to cut and they always ask why and it gets frustrating because I honestly don't understand myself

That is such bullshit that they would kick you out for that. That pissed me off.

Yeah they said they don't feel like they can help me if I can't stop cutting so they'd have to make me leave even though they don't want to

You said yourself you are doing better in this rehab, that should be your motivation, I hate self harm urges especially the long lingering ones, I know it can be hard to find motivation when you're fed up etc but if you have something good on the go for yourself than you should keep to it.
I hope your friends child will be okay,
Can you ring your friend? I know it's not the same as being there physically but still it's something and I'm sure your friend will find some comfort in that.
Hope you're okay, stay strong.

Her daughter is much better but I'm still stuck in this funk wanting to cut and I actually put a cigarette out on my hand today trying to feel better I guess... Idk what's wrong with me... I'm trying to get in to see a therapist but it's taking weeks and idk what to do anymore I don't want to get kicked out of here but idk if I'm strong enough

Keep trying to find something else to do besides cutting. Maybe you can find a room to just scream or vent. Maybe get on a treadmill and run and run. You are strong, maybe you just don't believe it yet, but we do. We feel your pain and how bad the urge is, just know that rehab is a great chance for you to get better. I wish I was there, at rehab, this will hopefully change your life and you'll feel great and happy. Good luck!

Thanks everyone Im doing much better now. I was in the process of switching from lexapro to efexor and I think it was just too much all at once and I flipped out a bit. the Effexor has started working now and Im not thinking about cutting all the time right now anyway :) This rehab is really helping me Im actually accepting the help for once in my life without a million and one excuses why things wont work Im actually TRYING and it is working more often than now... I didnt cut but i did burn my hand with my cigarette so im not sure if I can say Im proud of myself for not cutting honestly but its not as bad as what i wouldve done had i cut... I would probably have been in the hospital again and that would be bad for everyone especially me... Ive been writing a lot of poems the past month in rehab and its really helping me stay out of my head and get things out. Maybe next time I come to the library Ill type them and put them on my website so I can share them but idk yet... got a lot on my mind still but taking things one minute at a time because one day at a time isnt enough for me right now... thanks again for the encouragement it really helped.

They want you to workout as that helps with mood. Many studies show that with exercise it helps balance but when cutting is an addiction... it does not work like that... do you have someone that you can talk to at rehab like a counselor someone that can help you with your emotions to deal with them in a more positive way. Try writing about your feelings getting it all out. wash it away. I can understand how it would be to have a friend suffering and you cant help them, but right now, you need to help you. you need to complete your rehab and get yourself on the right page. Your friend should understand this, and needs to reach out to people that are near her and speak to someone from the health field to express her emotions, like you should reach out and speak to the staff about your emotions whats going on to trigger your emotions and tell them you dont know how to deal with them. they can help you cope, vent get it all out in a positive way. Harming yourself will only cause issues, it will only put you in a worse spot then what you are at right now. so take a step back breath and go seek help from the rehab staff they might not understand cutting. But they understand addiction. And its up to you to explain to them that cutting is an addiction to you triggered by such emotion or whatever triggers it.. no different then drugs or alcohol, there are studies around that too. Then tell them you dont know how to deal with this emotion and you would like help to get through this tough time. Reaching out and asking for the help you need will get you points for knowing that you need help and asking for it. Many people cant do that. Do what will help you not hurt you. You cant help your friend if your in jail infact you will have less time to talk to her and it would not be something that she would want you to do. So stay strong speak up and tell the rehab staff that you need their help to get through this.

Just read your comment on not understanding it yourself so how can you explain.
You dont have the coping skills that you should have for whatever reason, may that be not learning them or falling into self harm for whatever your reason was back then.
Now after a while of cutting it forms an addiction. So thats were you are something happens were it triggers you need to harm. Its like being addicted to drugs or alcohol. its an addiction and has to be dealt with just like so.. its hard I know I am addicted to cutting, been cut free for just over 2 months now. and its so hard not to cut, I went a two years cut free once, and had a relapse, I have also been addicted to drugs still am but I have been clean for over 1 year but its still a struggle. So in short cutting is an addiction.