i want to stop cutting but then again i don't. i like the way it feels and everything. how it just releases the pain and feels so good. i like watching the blood come out and to just lay there and feel nothing. but i want help because i know it's not a healthy way to release my pain and i don't want to have the scares on my body but i just can't help it. ahh what do i do. i know i shoudl get help but i just don't really want to. i guess i'm just stuborn and stuff. but it will be weird not cutting to make myself feel better. it's like takign soemthign you do alot and saying you can't and then your just left wiht nothing and going ah what now, how do i make the pain go away?
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