Self-Injury Support Group
Whether you or someone you know or love struggles with self-injury, this is the community to discuss your experience, find support, meet others going through the same, and get advice on how to stop. Working together, we can help find alternative coping skills to reduce the urge to self-harm.
I have been trying so hard not to cut but I'm done. I borrow my dad's car to go to therapy every Tuesday and he always calls to tell me to be careful with the car. That would be fine if I was 17 and just got my license but I'm 22 and I've had my license for 5 years. But later on in the day today he called me 2 more times all about whether or not the car was ok and no concern if I was ok. I feel like if I ever got into an accident and died he would be more upset that the car was in an accident than that I died. I tried to talk to him and he got mad and walked away. He does this every time I am having a difficult time. I try to talk and he walks away or changes the subject. I don't even know what to do. All I can do is cut to try and alleviate some of the pain. Any advice on this one??? Is there anyway I can get through to my Dad that when he walks away it hurts??? Please help
He is probably scared that if he says straight out "are you okay" all the time that you will feel more pressure. So, he is going for indirectly asking if you are okay......
at least that is what I have to believe (speaking as a father) cuz I know there is nothing that I would not do for my daughters. Daughters ARE the greatest thing ever to a dad.
There are myriad manuals on how to fix cars, but none on how to help you. He doesn't have a clue. (Again, this is just my guess.) Help the guy out and tell him how much you love him before you tell him how much he hurts you. ALWAYS start out with the good things. "I love you Dad and appreciate all you do for me. I remember the time ...(insert).....Right now, I would appreciate if you ...(insert)...
This is much easier for me to write than for you to do. I know this. I've tried and failed but you may succeed.
I know this is a lot to ask of someone in pain. I KNOW this. He should just help. You should not have to guide your own father to help you when you're in so much pain. Unfortunately, sometimes we have to be the mature ones even when we're screaming for help. I used to get so mad at this. H@ll, I still DO get mad at this.
Just my thoughts and remember, no one knows you like YOU know you and never ever accept any advice that does not feel right. EVER. I call it "cookie cutter advice". And I just served some up. It it fits, feel free to use it.
Sending much hope and affection your way.