Self-Injury Support Group
Whether you or someone you know or love struggles with self-injury, this is the community to discuss your experience, find support, meet others going through the same, and get advice on how to stop. Working together, we can help find alternative coping skills to reduce the urge to self-harm.
Hello all, I have a 12 year old daughter who has just started cutting herself.She disclosed over the summer that her cousin had been molesting her for 3 years.She has been in therapy for all 3 years but for anxiety issues and eating issues, we had no idea.She is now in a partial program for suicidal thoughts and self harm.She is diagnosed with PTSD and depression.I don't know how to help her,I don't understand the cutting,I mean when she just stubs her toe she is such a drama queen you would think she just cut it off,so why would she purposly cut herself?I am sorry if I sound ignorant about the subject, I just do not understand.
The best thing you can do for your daughter is be there for her. It is great that you have posted on here, trying to understand shows that you really care about her. There's lots of reasons she could be self harming. When you're around her, put your curiosity aside so that you just focus on her. Don't push her to tell you anything, but show her that she can trust you and count on you during this confusing, painful time for her.
Along with therapy, a strong support network is essential for her recovery. Knowing that she is safe and loved will help her.
You have already taken great steps to help her, so you are on the right track.
Please don't blame yourself for her not telling you about her cousin. She probably felt confused and scared, and that has nothing to do with anything you did or didn't do.
I cut for a number of reasons, sometimes for release other times for punishment if I think I've hurt someone or view my self as a burden and unworthy of life. I walk into things all the time and it hurts because I wasn't trying to mask a different pain, it's a total surprise.
I use to be told that self harm and suicide weren't linked and didn't always go hand in hand until my therapist said that self harmers are more likely to kill themselves, I had to ask cause after being told one thing for so many years, he said because they run out of options and hope, which I guess makes sense.
My parents freaked when they found out and they still would if I told them that I still do it, I feel I can't open up to them because of their reaction, so trying to keep calm whilst talking to her is a safe bet she might comply and tell you what's going on.
A sign that it might be for attention is how deep are the cuts?
I know that people hurt themselves by scratches etc and they do it because of pain and I'm not saying they're not valid and are looking for attention, but if they're really light it might be for attention, she wants attention but doesn't want to scar herself for it.
It is very common for children who are sexually abused to cut themselves. She probably feels way too much pain inside and needs to release it. Emotional pain can be way worse than physical pain. Sexual abuse ruins you inside and it can be almost impossible to live with the emotional pain.