Self-Injury Support Group

Whether you or someone you know or love struggles with self-injury, this is the community to discuss your experience, find support, meet others going through the same, and get advice on how to stop. Working together, we can help find alternative coping skills to reduce the urge to self-harm.

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nemesis6 03/06/2013

I have been cut free for about a year. Ow, but until things started to get tough for me at work, I didn't realise what was happening. I started skipping meals, feeling incredible guilt for eating. I became obsessive over calories, always reading the nutritional value on packs in the supermarket before buying them... Then came the appetite surpressants, and it wasn't until I was 2 and half stone lighter, and my doctor noticed that I started to realise that I was showing the signs and symptoms of anorexia.
And in so doing I had unwittingly swapped one addiction for another. You have to believe me, I didn't realise until it was too late... I didn't mean for this to happen, but I guess, when things started to get rough at work, unbearable even. I remember wanting to cut so bad, but I didn't want to slip after doing so well, so after a while I began to loose my appetite.
But now I feel like a failure. Bcz now I see that I haven't changed anything. I wanted to stop self harming and I haven't... Not really. Iv just found a different method. Will this nightmare ever end? :,(

deleted_user 03/06/2013

Hey!

Hang in there. I recently came to the realization that cutting is an addiction. And I am trying to face the fact I think I have developed an eating disorder of sorts, over-eating, since I stopped cutting.

I sort of know the ballpark you're in. Have you tried to figure out what specific things triggered your need to cut, or not eat? You mention work stress, but are there any aspects of it, that can be changed? Ways to make it less stressful? Have you talked to your doctor about feeling stressed out and the issues it is causing? Or else, ask your doctor to recommend you to a therapist who could help?

I hope things work out for you!

nemesis6 03/07/2013

Feeling worthless was always a trigger. One that had many facets, for someone could make me feel like that at work, yet they could make me feel like it at home too. Not to mention me feeling like it anyway. But one thing that makes me not want to eat is lack of control in my life. So I feel like, ok I might not be able to control anything in my life but I can control what I eat...

deleted_user 03/07/2013

hey honey. I am very proud of you for recognizing that you replaced one self destructive addiction for another. I know thins are difficult now and you are hurting but in time things will get better. Don't give up on yourself. You are so much stronger than you think you are. I am really glad you are talking about it instead of keeping it all inside. Give me shout out when you get a chance. Hang in there.

nemesis6 03/07/2013

Thanks honey! I just wish I wouldn't be so terrified of what the scales in the bathroom say about me every morning. If I could stop that, then maybe I might eat when I'm hungry. Instead of when I do feel hungry a little voice in the back of my head says "you're in control now"...
I hate that voice! I'd like to make it shut up for good, but I don't know how :(
Perhaps by building my self esteem, but gosh that's a mountain to climb

deleted_user 03/08/2013

It is a huge mountain to climb but I know you can do it. You are so strong. It is a long journey sweetheart but I know you will make it and that voice in your head one day it will fade to nothingness and you can take back control over your life again and you can eat without feeling like your whole world is spinning out of control. You are gonna make it through this. I am always here for you if you ever need to talk about anything at all.

jasgall 03/08/2013

Hey you're not alone. Lots of people with ED's also struggle with self harm behaviors, myself included. Have you told anyone else about this? Do you have a therapist? It is crucial that you get help because Anorexia is the deadliest of all psychiatric illnesses. If you're nervous abiut talking to someone, call NEDA 1-800-931-2237. It's free and confidential. They can help you start that conversation, as well as help you find resources in your area. I am praying for you.

DreamWeaver101 03/08/2013

Hey. It's great that you're able to talk about it. I'm sorry you're going through eating problems and anorexia. I used to be a cutter. Been 11 months now I haven't used my blades. I know how often circumstances can trigger the way we harm ourselves. I just want you to know, that I'm here and you can message me anytime.

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