I understand the hospital and stitches thing. I have experienced the same stuff. I also cut on my upper thighs. You are right. Cutting is like a drug addiction. I know I crave the high sometimes when life gets really rough, but it's not worth it. I know foreign sounding right? I didn't believe it at first either, but it's true. The scars all over my thigh are ugly, and most of them, I don't even remember when I made them. It just seems like a terrible waste. I was on varsity swim team beforehand, but now, I can't bear to see my thigh exposed so I had to quit. My previous foster home--one who said they would adopt me-- kicked me out because of it. The list goes on.

Cutting wasn't worth it for me. I'm not gonna lie though. If you read my journals, it is plain to see how triggered I get at times and how badly I want to relapse. But here I am, one week away from breaking my ultimate record of 10 weeks and five days, looking at going for at least 11 or 12 weeks, and I have never felt better in my life. I feel truly happy for the first time in years. My family feels safe to hug me, knowing that they won't hurt me if they accidentally bump a fresh wound. Smiles abound. I am able to be me.

How did I begin to quit, you ask? I took it one minute at a time. I made a commitment to myself and my future that it had to end. The ten days I had stitches in my was the loudest wake-up call of my life. I had to do something about this or I would do more than just pass out in the ER. If I didn't stop, I might never wake up next time. I found other things to do: talking to friends here on DS, actually doing my homework for my courses (and raising my GPA in the process), taking my rabbit on a walk, e-mailing my therapist, etc. I had to want to quit though. Without that realization, I would never have made it this far. I know you can do it too. I'm here if you want to talk. :) ~Tracie xoxox

It is an addiction, but most fail to see that. I mean those dont cut. Once we feel that relief that's we care for. It's like drug because after the first you cant achieve the same high causes you to do more drastic things, such as cutting deeper. I suggest you find someone who will support every step of the way. Someone you can be open with. You need to be honest tell them when you cut so they can give support not discourage you. My girlfriend has helped me stop, but there's always that looming chance that I could start again. When it gets bad like that she helps calm me down and do something else. You someone who wont judge you and is willing to help you every step of the way. Hope that helps. If you need someone to talk to you can talk to me. Take care, deary.

I stopped by cold turkey.
After my thrid suicide attempt and a promise I made to my best friend, I threw everything out. My blades, my pills, anything that reminded me of cutting. I drove myself crazy for years (still do sometimes) I've been clean for about three years now...there is probably less harsher ways to clear up your addicition, but this was my way. The one good thing about doing the cold turkey therapy is that I trained myself to stand against the biggest and hardest urges that I have ever had, so when I have a urges now, I can usually calm myself down and ignore them completly.

You need to find someone to talk to, help you find out what is triggering you.

Thanks for all of your advice. I wish it were that easy for me. I am at my lowest today and can't seem to stop crying although I have no idea why I am crying. Being this upset just makes me want to cut again and I don't think I can keep myself from doing it. Ii don't know what to do. There is no one around me that really understands. Some say it's stupid and to stop while others just say they hope I feel better. My family has turned their backs on me and claim that I am dead to the rest of the world so all I have are my kids and there's no way I'm telling them they are way too young to understand. I feel so lost, confused and hopeless.