This has been going on for nearly 2 years now. Everyday I go through periods of random, extreme depression. This began my Freshmen year in high school and I thought it was just the stress of the work.
It gradually began to get worse and reflected it in my grades. I had straight A's, but I got 2 high B' s so my parents got pissed. I told them I had been running depressed and to quote my dad "So what?"
It did nothing but get worse and worse, but it stopped for nearly 3 weeks at one point. But when it came back, it hit hard.
Its at its worst when my life starts to become okay again. When my grades start to go back up, when I have a steady relationship, when everything starts to become just a little easier. That's when the depression comes in and screws everything up.
I think it might be linked to all the emotional tear downs I've had. I've been cheated on about 10 times, lied to 4, and at one point a girl got her new boyfriend to call me at 5:45 in the morning one day before our one month anniversary, to tell me its over.
No matter what I do, its never good enough for my family. I make the honor roll, mom gets mad cause I didn't make the high honor roll or the principals list. My oldest brother is an amazing musician but highly conceited. Whenever I say something that might even suggest I'm a good musician, or good at anything really, he tears me down and insists I'm not.
I tried to tell my parents, but they don't take a damned word seriously! A few months back I began to cut myself because it works better than anything I've tried. Hell, they've seen the marks but don't care! I feel worthless on a regular basis, and just to keep myself from being depressed I have to cut a little deeper each time. For the first time in my life, I'm suicidal. I just want to be done with all of this.