Self-Injury Support Group

Whether you or someone you know or love struggles with self-injury, this is the community to discuss your experience, find support, meet others going through the same, and get advice on how to stop. Working together, we can help find alternative coping skills to reduce the urge to self-harm.

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Does the urge ever go away?

Hey All,

I'm was just wondering if at some point down the road of SI-free, you're really free? When I started cutting, I only did it for about 6 months. Then I was cut-free for almost a year. Then things got really bad for a time and I ended up cutting once more. It was the deepest and longest cut I'd ever done. I don't know if it's because it had been so long and I really wanted that feeling, that focus, again or something else. Since then I've told my closest sister and my mom about my cutting and told them I would stop. But I still get really intense urges that are really hard to ignore. Even during my year of no cutting I was getting urges but not as bad as they've been now. I was just wondering if at some point I won't want to cut even when it seems there's no reason to.

Replies

ArtistMWS
ArtistMWS

The urges do get fewer and farther between the longer you're SI free; I've been away from self-harming for over 18 yrs but I still get urges sometimes; especially when I'm highly stressed but when that happens I do my best to keep my mind and hands occupied until the feelings subside again; you can get away from SI and there is hope :)
valgal18
valgal18

i was in the same boat as you....i'd cut and then wouldn't self injure for a year or 2 and then start back up again....the past three years have been super crappy so i've cut a lot more....but as time has gone on, i've noticed that the urges get fewer. i don't wanna do it less often and when i put my mind to it, i don't need to do it.....it's really hard and sometimes i slip up, but i'm doing pretty good.....you just hafta wait out the urges-which sucks.....hope this helped....if you wanna talk, i'm here
Beth85
Beth85

It sounds like I am kind of in the same place you are. For the last two years my cutting decreased to once every 6-12 months, when something really stressful happens and I just can't handle it. I still have thoughts of cutting when stress starts to climb, but it's generally easily dismissable. I suppose our brains will always gravitate towards it as a solution, but the more we are able to handle stress and use other coping strategies, the more these strategies will come to the forefront of our minds.
deleted_user
deleted_user

everyone i have known, people in their thirties who used to self harm, still have the temptation. for me, its always there. i do try to talk my self out of it. but once you start, there will always be an urge. its horrible, really.
deleted_user
deleted_user

i've only been free 7 months so far, and at first it was really really hard. Personally, i still have my blades in my room even. I guess maybe because i'm not THAT ready to let go yet, but i haven't cut in 7 months, havent purposely hurt myself in 2 months. So its a good question... because personally i think i'm only half way free right now. I think your as free as you let yourself be in the end.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I have been si free for 5 years. I now have to go inpatient because the urges are so strong along for other things related to my schizophrenia....medication adjustments and stuff. The urges I thought would be gone by now. I never thought about them until I got so stressed from psychosis that I thought I could use it as a crutch until I got better. But it is not getting better. Pdoc wants me in the hospital so Monday I am going inpatient in a psych hospital.
CaptainFibro
CaptainFibro

I was SI-free for 5 years. Every passing month and year made the urges easier and easier to control. I can't speak for everyone but, for me, they never went away completely but when I had an urge it was much easier to deal with. With ever urge, I told myself that I had gone so long without it that going back would reset my willpower meter. The only reason that I did it after those 5 years was that I stopped taking my medication for multiple conditions and the side effects from withdrawal sent me in an abysmal spiral. I will spare you the details but it was a very traumatic time.

So remember, each day you will be stronger and it will be weaker!

Also, I recommend throwing away whatever you use if possible. I threw away my razor blades as well as a few other things and it made me feel better and stronger. "Where is my cutting implement? Oh yeah, I don't have one" :D
Two more things that help me are listening to positive music and posting or even just reading here on DS. And positive music doesn't have to be quiet, classical, or cheesy. I love heavy music, alt rock, and lots of other stuff. Find the songs/bands that work for you.
I am now 16 days cut free. I take strength from the fact that I lasted so long and it does get easier. I tell myself I CAN do it again.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I have been cutting since I was 12 and I'm 38 now so Ive been cutting along time yes I still get urges but not as strong. What helps me is to distract myself and to do postive self talk.
Hugs
deleted_user
deleted_user

I have not cut since 1998 and the urges have gone completely. Occasionally, I have some emotional pain that comes along and the thoughts of cutting will flit across my mind, sometimes I let it go and sometimes I play with it a little and then let it go, but it's only a thought not an urge. Don't give up hope!!