Self-Injury Support Group
Whether you or someone you know or love struggles with self-injury, this is the community to discuss your experience, find support, meet others going through the same, and get advice on how to stop. Working together, we can help find alternative coping skills to reduce the urge to self-harm.
All the time now, I'll be sad and want to cut.
Sometimes I'm not even sure why I'm sad, and despite my best efforts, I can't explain why I cut.
I can't put it into words.
Sometimes there isn't a specific reason that I can pinpoint "I'm cutting because of this." It's mostly "I'm cutting because I'm sad and it makes me feel better"
Some people are all "I cut because it's the only pain I can control, or pain on the outside is easier to handle," and there I am "I cut because I'm sad ."
Today, for example, I want to cut. Feel like I need to cut.
Last week I planned my suicide again. Bleach and vinegar in a bucket in my car. Did a bunch of research.
But, then, I cut.. And that feeling was gone. I was okay for a little while.
I just feel so helpless.
I wish I had someone to hold me when I cried or hurt. But, reality is I don't, so I need to put my big girl pants on and plow through the obstacles. Sometimes it's just hard to find a reason to.
Sometimes I'm not even sure why I'm sad, and despite my best efforts, I can't explain why I cut.
I can't put it into words.
Sometimes there isn't a specific reason that I can pinpoint "I'm cutting because of this." It's mostly "I'm cutting because I'm sad and it makes me feel better"
Some people are all "I cut because it's the only pain I can control, or pain on the outside is easier to handle," and there I am "I cut because I'm sad ."
Today, for example, I want to cut. Feel like I need to cut.
Last week I planned my suicide again. Bleach and vinegar in a bucket in my car. Did a bunch of research.
But, then, I cut.. And that feeling was gone. I was okay for a little while.
I just feel so helpless.
I wish I had someone to hold me when I cried or hurt. But, reality is I don't, so I need to put my big girl pants on and plow through the obstacles. Sometimes it's just hard to find a reason to.
I cut a semi-colon into my left arm to remind me of my choice NOT to kill myself. Even with that, I still fantasize about killing myself and have a multitude of plans. Hell, right now, with ice on the river, it would be a perfect time to go for a long swim after taking every Valium, Ambilify, and Benadryl in my supply. But I digress...
I don't know if you've had any Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) or not, but one thing that helps me most when I get desperate is to Radically Accept whatever emotion I'm feeling. If it's sadness, then I just accept that I feel that emotion whether there is a reason or not, and whether it is justified or not. Once I accept that the emotion is real, then I dive into why I feel it and try to support it or change it.
Best wishes to you. ((hugs))
Tricia
Please, if you are ever feeling that low again, send me a message. I'm more than happy to be a shoulder to cry on. I know it doesn't mean much coming from someone who isn't physically there. But I still want to help you in any way I can, no one should go through depression alone.