I'm very sorry that happened again loum; that's got to be frustrating when you're trying not to hurt yourself and it happens unconsciously. Nighttimes seem bad for many people since that's when you have quiet time and all the thoughts rushing around your head have a chance to come to the fore front.

Night time is always the roughest for me too. I think ArtistMWS has a point about it being the quiet time that allows all the thoughts to run around in our minds. Sometimes it takes all I have not to cut myself, but it's a bit different when you don't remember. When I cut myself it is usually at night and most times in the morning after I remember it, but almost like it was a dream. I know there isn't much I can say to help you feel better but at least the silence of the night doesn't last forever... You're not crazy and you're definitely not alone.

As someone else who struggles more at night, I have discovered that bringing my mp3 to bed helps me a lot. I know that studies discourage exposure to light before going to sleep, but the benefits of having music or a podcast to focus on outweigh any extra time necessary to fall asleep. Having something to take your mind off of negative thoughts may also impact what you do while you're sleeping.
Stay strong, and know that the morning always comes.

-Kristi

I haver the exact same problem. I quit cutting formaly for... god a few years now.. urges still come but they are not as strong or frequent and I have trained myself to reach out if they are strong.... but I am the same as you I am fine durring the day most days..and then at night I get crazy depressed my mood is like ....well night and day. And the next morning I'm fine again minus waking up to long claw marks with no memory of how they got there most nights. This frustrates me because how can I stop what I have no control of. I have spoken to a counseler and they said it may be night terrors...and sometimes I do have memmorys of waking upp with my heart racing a mile a minute and pain with skin undermy nails... I guess my point is your very not alone, and I'm sorry your going through this....its incredibly frustrating to say the least,

Wow, that's amazing. My therapist thinks I'm scratching because of dry skin or something. I almost always wake up between 2 and 3 AM. I used to wake up screaming, now I usually just wake up feeling fear. My doctor thinks it's sleep apnea. I think there was abuse that took place at that time when I was little. I know there was abuse at other times, but all I have memories of at that time are an out of body experience, one flashbace of my father's face in front of me, nightmares and body memories of being held down. Very seldome can I get back to sleep. It is frustrating. I haven't cut in many years either. Maybe the body remembers and craves the feeling. I don't know.

I am christian as well as a multiple addict. I have for many years now played scripture as i sleep. This helps me. When I do wake I usually can pray and I seldom have struggles at night. Obviously this wont work for everyone.

A few temporary fixes I could think of would be wearing gloves(or socks over your hands) at night. Another idea would be some sort of binding your hands in front of you before you sleep.

Your intuitive consideration that its possible some of your abuse happened at night is likely to be accurate in my opinion.
It seems obvious to me you have faced and overcome alot allready which is good. It is possible that your subconscious is telling you that you still have wounds that need healing.(emotional wounds)

I am grateful to you for sharing this part of your story with us and I want to encourage you to keep coming back. We are here to listen and support you together we can all recover.