I've cut since I was about 11 years old. I'm now 25. It's my comfort, my control and I won't/can't give it up. I've tried several times, but I always relapse.

For the first time this year, a work colleague noticed the scars on my arms. I've been there for 7 years now and I never exactly wear long sleeves, but this woman took great offence to my arms. She's always been a bit up herself, but the things she was saying to me were ridiculous.

Apparently I'm just trying to be trendy, I should be ashamed copying what others do to look cool. She had plenty more insults for me, but she also decided to tell my mother about the cuts on my arms. I hate that the company I work for knows my mother, but that's the trouble with a family owned business.

So when my mother found out, she slapped me square across the face and said 'How dare you embarrass me like that. How do think this makes me look as a mother?'

Now me and my mother have never exactly been close, but I wanted to say to her it makes you look like a pretty shit one if you never noticed before. I didn't. Instead I kept my mouth shut and cut later in the privacy of my own home.

I've never been so mad in my entire life. I think I'm more mad that she didn't notice all that time. I started around 11 years old and I was living under my mother's roof until I was 21. If cutting really is a cry for help like my doctor keeps telling me then my cries have gone unnoticed for a decade by my own mother.

I was 6 months cut free until last night. It's been a day since and I feel shaky and agitated like I want to cut, but I'm too mad still to do anything. Writing usually helps me to calm down so I don't feel the need to cut, but my simple journal updates offline aren't working either. I found Daily Strength through Google and just wondered if there was anyone else who feels the same as I do. And I really needed to vent.