Self-Injury Support Group
Whether you or someone you know or love struggles with self-injury, this is the community to discuss your experience, find support, meet others going through the same, and get advice on how to stop. Working together, we can help find alternative coping skills to reduce the urge to self-harm.
CRAP!!!!!
I went over 5 years without cutting and a few months ago, I broke that streak. I've have more trouble but was able, barely, to resist...until tonight. I cut myself about 30 times. That might actually be a record for me. Yay me (O_o). so now I have to start all over again. Do you think cutting is like alcoholism? They say an alcoholic is always an alcoholic but just becomes a recovered alcoholic. I feel like this compulsive desire will never go away. For the rest of my life, I will forever be a tenuously recovered cutter (ya know, during the periods when I am actually recovered).
Also, I'm bipolar and my med situation is really fucked up. I ran out of my seraquil about 3 weeks ago and I'm still waiting for my refill to get here. I also ran out of three of my other medications in the past few days. I already called them in but I'm going to have to borrow money to get them. My new pdoc is probably going to be pissed when I go to my next check up on a couple weeks. I just started the seraquil a couple of months ago and missing the last three weeks isn't really the best way to see how well it's working.....and the 30 cuts on my arm and leg (only 5 of them are on my leg) are a testament to how well no meds at all work for me. Now I have to worry about hiding the cuts since I only own two long sleeve shirts (I've always hated them).
Also my little brother is staying with me for a little while and I REALLY don't want him to see them. If it was just a couple I could try to blame it on a stray cat. There is no rational excuse (lie) that can explain that amount of cuts. sigh. I'm a shitty role model.
I went over 5 years without cutting and a few months ago, I broke that streak. I've have more trouble but was able, barely, to resist...until tonight. I cut myself about 30 times. That might actually be a record for me. Yay me (O_o). so now I have to start all over again. Do you think cutting is like alcoholism? They say an alcoholic is always an alcoholic but just becomes a recovered alcoholic. I feel like this compulsive desire will never go away. For the rest of my life, I will forever be a tenuously recovered cutter (ya know, during the periods when I am actually recovered).
Also, I'm bipolar and my med situation is really fucked up. I ran out of my seraquil about 3 weeks ago and I'm still waiting for my refill to get here. I also ran out of three of my other medications in the past few days. I already called them in but I'm going to have to borrow money to get them. My new pdoc is probably going to be pissed when I go to my next check up on a couple weeks. I just started the seraquil a couple of months ago and missing the last three weeks isn't really the best way to see how well it's working.....and the 30 cuts on my arm and leg (only 5 of them are on my leg) are a testament to how well no meds at all work for me. Now I have to worry about hiding the cuts since I only own two long sleeve shirts (I've always hated them).
Also my little brother is staying with me for a little while and I REALLY don't want him to see them. If it was just a couple I could try to blame it on a stray cat. There is no rational excuse (lie) that can explain that amount of cuts. sigh. I'm a shitty role model.
Being off your medications can certainly make u turn back to those old ways but at the same time I also know how expensive medications are when you don't have insurance or at least not a good insurance so I'm sure that's helped to compound your issues. It's good that you aren't wanting to slip back into the old ways though; that proves you can get yourself out of it again, especially with your lil brother staying with you for a bit;
http://www.astrazeneca-us.com/medicines/help-affording-your-medicines/azandme-prescription-savings-programs
When I skip my meds, I can bounce either way but often go into ber manic mode which can last up to a couple of week before crashing down into oblivion. It's really bad when this happens because as soon as I get manic, I suddenly don't think I need my meds despite going two or three days at a time without sleeping. When I crash or just started hallucinating, I usually realize "Wait, this is why I needed my meds!!!"
I agree -it is like ever other addictive behavior. One might be practicing recovery forever (personal opinion). I am in recovery from a few things & I thought cutting was one of them - I had a little over a year and then in May my PTSD was triggered and my bipolar & anxiety went off the charts. I'm back to day one, again, with no cutting. Trying to keep things in perspective. I have done this before. You have done this before. With one step. Each moment, doing the little things that are in front of us to get us to the next, we can find the next instant without cutting once again.