I've been a people person my entire life. Sure, rarely, it is nice to have some alone time, but usually, I love being with people. I often feel extremely lonely as my sister has her boyfriend and I have nobody. I'm always a third wheel with my friends. Now, this isn't just about being single. My family, I feel, excludes me often naturally. It isn't them being mean, they just do it. I feel so alone and this makes me want to cut so bad. I want to mutilate my body. I want blood, but more than anything, I want to be my own friend. I understand my hypocrisy: if I'm my own friend, how can I be the enemy as well? How can I personify my depression, yet, stay friendly with the demon that stabs me? I don't want to go back to the hospital, and I'm trying to be a better person. But there's that line being self harm, and I'm about to cross it by impulse. I need someone to talk to...I'm not becoming that better person, I'm becoming the unstable one.