Self-Injury Support Group

Whether you or someone you know or love struggles with self-injury, this is the community to discuss your experience, find support, meet others going through the same, and get advice on how to stop. Working together, we can help find alternative coping skills to reduce the urge to self-harm.

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Adult children triggers

JessicaChase
JessicaChase
I worked my butt off raising my children after my husband died 15 years ago. I did not get involved with other men because I did not want them to be a pervert with my kids.They are adults now and they have a tendoncy to treat me with resentment. I think I gave them too much freedom of speach and now they have often been very judgemental and insulting.It just triggers me to hate myself. The one thing I thought I did well in my life with raising my children but to be direspected and verbally abused I feel I have failed. I litterly gave up my own social life to raise these children. I feel unappreciated and abandonded again.And my alters are over- dwhelmed. I have to deal with all my sexual abuse issues and the fact that my children think I'm incapable of of life on my own, or helping them any further. Maybe they are right. I'm tired of handling eveything on my own. I wish someone would want to take care of me!! God ....help I do not think I have the energy to go on with out hurting myself.
MandyG
MandyG
I act like that with my mom, and really it's because she won't leave me to my own space and when she is NOT involved is when she should be. If they are late teens, early 20s part of it is they just want to live on their own for awhile to LEARN how to live on their own without being dictated or judged. Assume no news is good news and don't bother them much. (this is just my opinion, since I'm speaking from the view of 'children' side - btw, not good you still view them as children. That may be indicative of the issues they may have w/you)
it sounds to me like you expect to be treated special because of your own misery... which isn't realistic. Understand that the choices you made were YOUR choices and you shouldn't blame other people because you don't like how things have turned out.
You should try and find your own happiness and stop worrying so much about everyone else, now that they are older You can focus on yourself. Try dating again? You do deserve to be happy and the only person you can control is yourself...
Have you tried to get counseling? It helps plenty!!
good luck to you!
Remember, this is time for you to focus on yourself, not others. That doesn't make you selfish, it means you take on the responsibility of loving and caring for yourself.
JessicaChase
JessicaChase
MandyG you obviously are a very insightive young adult. You said things that yes my counselor would say and my young adult kids. You are absolutely correct and that does not eliminate the tramendious fear of starting a new life.I know I have to but I am tired and scared. My sons deployed overseas and my daughter will sooon be moving to London. They are both very capable of doing life. I guess I just assumed they would be closer to me in distance for visits. You are rightI chose this life but now where do I begin to include myself into this world. Some of my personalities have not yet processed all their issues and they do desire attention. As for the rest of us it's hard but we will take your advice and try to care for our selves. Thanks precious Mandy for the truth!