Self-Injury Support Group
Whether you or someone you know or love struggles with self-injury, this is the community to discuss your experience, find support, meet others going through the same, and get advice on how to stop. Working together, we can help find alternative coping skills to reduce the urge to self-harm.
So... I haven't cut since Feb of 2010, and before then over a year of being clean. So I have gone a pretty long time without my blades. Since then though, I aged out of foster care, and I ended up moving in with this really nice couple and their 5 kids at the beginning of this summer. I didn't expect to, but I have totally fallen in love with them. They are the family that I have always been searching for. When I cut, it was because I longed more than anything to have what I have now. But now, I have been here 2 months, and everything is falling apart. My aunt and uncle (which is what I call them) are talking about getting a divorce. My cousin is constantly in trouble with her mom for doing little things or writing in her journal about some really bad stuff (though she never does it). I feel like everything is my fault. If I would have cleaned up around the house more, if I would have been a better sounding board for my cousin, if I wouldn't have moved in and taken my uncle's "Man Room", then maybe, maybe this wouldn't be happening. The guilt and fear are driving me to want to cut. I've also been thinking about suicide, but I fear that my death would make things worse for them. Would it? Should I move out? I don't have anywhere to go but the streets, but the guilt is slicing my spirit into a million pieces. I just feel so much to blame. How do I fix this? What can I do to not ruin yet another family... This is number 13 in just barely 18 years... :(
it's not uncommon when parents' relationships are under stress for the parents to treat heir children a little more harshly than they should - it's awful for your cousin, but again this is typical of famlies under stress and most likely as nothing to do with you.
my opinion is just be there for them. Help around the house when you can, being supportive in little things like making them a coffee,helping with meals etc when they're stressed - such little things can have a big positive impact. Just try to avoid taking sides - it's a trap we all fall into when some one we care about is hurting. Your leaving and living on the streets will not have a positive impact on their lives, just the opposite is what i would suspect - it would add to their hurts.
But most importantly - don't blame yourself. Always try to remember - they like you and respect you enough to have invited you into their family. When they decided to do this they knew you would enrich their lives just as they hoped they would enrich yours, seems to me you are all special people for this to have happened, irrespective of how things are now.
Actually, a second important thing, not all such situations as this one end in seperation, and not all seperations are permanent or end in divorce. I also hope things here work out for you here and you remain a family
: -)