hi there. I do have outburst like you do. Feeling really frustrated and angry suddenly and needing to get that feeling out. Most of the time on myself. I do hit my self - head, arm, legs, or against the wall or edge. To get all the bruises and pain. Most of the time I cut. Well, I am bulimic-anorexic for one year plus alr. So yea, binging and purging is not a solution for me coz i do that during meal times. Recently i greatly reduce the no of times i cut. I am trying to express my feelings in words. through writing. I starting keeping a journal. At first just thought that it will be memorable. but it actually helps. coz as soon as i began writing my anger and thoughts out, the feeling lessens and i get less prone to self-harm. you can try this or alternatives.
*Well, for me, i was not receptive to the idea of writing at first. so it's understandable if you don't wana try or think it won't work. but no harm trying after all. :)

I practised self injury for 32 years. Since i think i am so good at it now, i chose years ago to stop practising it lol. Of course i am being silly...but in alot of wys tis true. I am way too good at self harm. Your emotional violatility resembles my own from all of those years. today I am much changed.

I consider that I needed the self harm and other methods of dealin giwth how i felt. They were my support tho destructive and weak support they carried me throu until I could replace them with other healthy means.

I often use the analogy of a bridge...imagine a bridge across a river. It has several support structures beneath it. I am the bridge, and my supports are everything that holdds me up in my life. If one of my supports is weak or faulty...in order to replace it with a new one...I have to first shore the bridge up with some temporary support system...then i can remove the faulty support without the bridge collapsing(me)..and eventually work to build a support that is healthy and not destructive or faulty.

These things take time. It takes time and practice to install a different temporary support under ur bridge...which will help you eliminate the faulty support...and then it takes time to replace the faulty support with a healthy one that is sturdy and sound.

I have lived now ten years without self harm...and in fact my life seems to be always improving now..tho i dunno how its going to get better tomorow than it is today. My life is completely amazing and joyful and peaceful..my emotions are deep and powerful but they dont overwhelm me...my peace and love always cover everything I feel and JOy...I wouldnt have thought this was possible...i couldnt have hoped for it..yet here it is. Joyful joey.

I am willing to share with you my path...my journey along it anything you might wish to know however it would be up to you, to choose to practice the things that I have learned to do, that have helped me so much. I know where you are..i used to live there.

thanks for your response.
I guess I\'m tired of feeling this way but what is the point of being alive if you are constantly fighting something that you think could be worth while in the end.

I do try to be positive but it\'s when I come home from work at the end of the day or have a short period of time to myself that I feel really down and over-whelmed. I feel that people don\'t understand and let me down all the time.
I feel like when I\'m not my \'usual\' happy go luck sounding me - which deep down I am not. That people don\'t want a bar of me.

I guess no one likes to hear anyone complain though..

Help to cope in those quiet times and help to feel supported would really be great...

Hey spirit,

I hear you, I have fought cutting for 27 years, and am still fighting it. The quiet times when I\'m alone are the hardest, at the end of the day or the weekends when my son is at his fathers. I also suffer from severe BiPolar Depression and that doesn\'t help. With out my pdoc and tdoc I don\'t know where I\'d be today or if I\'d be. Have you considered a therapist so that you can talk to someone and get the "junk" out of your head, instead of taking it out on yourself?

I hope you have a better and gentler day.

kat