im not really a competent doctor or psychiatrist or anything, but just know that youre not alone. sometimes just knowing that helps. if you ever need to talk to me or vent, message me. i know how hard life can be and what having a troubled past can do to a person. i hope you'll be strong though.

Thanks. It does help to know I'm not alone. Thank you for the offer to talk, sometimes that can really help me. I just have so much going on that it is so hard. Then my past stuff all coming back at once... I'm not sure how to handle it.

i have faith in you. i know how it feels to not feel safe with yourself. it feels so helpless. but your not helpless. you're strong enough to ask for help, which means your strong enough to overcome this. and if you need me i'll be here to talk you through it.

Thank you again. It does feel helpless. I had to ask a friend to take razors out of the bathroom before I could shower earlier.. I hate feeling that I can't help myself. Like I have no control over my body. I hope you are right about being strong enough... right now I am not so sure.

You ARE strong enough. You asked your friend to take the razor out of the bathroom. That right there shows how strong you are! It's all right to feel out of control sometimes. I'm sure it happens to the most of us. I know it happens to me quit a lot. You've come a long way, and you should be proud! Keep your head up and try to focus on good things, simple things. You can do it. (:

I agree with both posters here; you do have the strength to keep the urges at bay hon; I'm not sure if you have a therapist or psychiatrist you see but if you do, you might make an emergency appt just to be on the safe side; if you don't have one; maybe it's a good idea to look for one so you can keep up the SI-free streak you've got going; you're always welcome to message me if you need an ear too ok ?

Thanks guys. I hope you are right about me being strong enough. I just keep getting more crap added on to deal with. Added on to everything I was already dealing with, I think I had a seizure while I was asleep today. I just cant catch a break and it's getting harder and harder to control the urges.

Stay strong, i know what its like to want to cut. Keep resisting you have come so far!

Message me, we can talk. Use some ice, or exercise, go for a walk. Just get your mind of the urge.

For the shaking, i get like that too. I normally go for a run, or play the piano, it helps a lot.

If your afraid of what you might do if left alone, surround yourself with people, talk to your friend.

Take care

Thanks Tori. I am trying to keep my mind off it but it is so hard because more and more things keep happening. Now on top of two meltdowns I believe I had a seizure, and neither of my best friends or my bf will cancel their plans tomorrow to be with me so they can keep me from hurting myself until I see the doctor Monday. Its all just too much. My boyfriend says he will cancel the plans but... I know he will just be pissed off at me and that does not help at all.