Hi Jessica,

I kind of struggle the same way because I'm a Christian and I thought Jesus ought to fix everything for me. I even thought that if I tried harder to be a good Christian that he would finally heal me. But I think cutting is like any other temptation, and we'll always be tempted as long as we're here. I'm not trying to preach :) just trying to encourage you not to give up on your faith.
Please, please don't give up. I know you're in pain right now, and you feel like giving up, but you won't always feel this way. Your life is valuable for more reasons that you know. Hopefully you got some help when you were in the hospital...if not, maybe you could talk to a doctor and get some professional help.

Message me if you need to talk! I hope you feel better soon :)

HGod loves us more than we could possibly imagine, but He isn't going to change our lives for us. We need to CHOOSE to take that step, even if it's hard. Even if it seems impossible. You're HERE on this site, and it isn't by chance. You're working with God to change paths, to pave a better one.
I wanted to share something with you. I've self-injured for half my life, since I was 11 years old and it is something that haunts me every single day. I've lost friends to suicide and I've seen the aftermath of it, how it affected the people they left behind. Life is precious and even I didn't realize how much so until recently. My 10 year old brother was bullied on the sidewalk right next to the highway near our house. He told me that when he was on the ground, all he wanted to do was roll onto the road and wait for a car to hit him. He's TEN. My heart shattered into a million pieces and I told him NO! DON'T EVER THINK THAT AGAIN! I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE LIKE ME!!
Jessica, if you take your own life, you'll be taking a lot of other lives with you. I know life can be hard. I hear that voice in my head every single day, telling me that I need to be this person; this sad and scared person. But I learned that what I think I am, what this voice convinces me I am, I don't have to be that anymore. And neither do you. I want you to message me if you need to talk. You're life is precious. You matter. I don't want you to think that you don't matter in this world. I care and I'll be your friend if you need someone. God bless you.

Thank you so much for your encouragement and wisdom. I really struggle with suicidal thoughts so thank you for reminding me the affect it has on those left behind. You both have been very hopeful in my lowself esteem your support is well needed.

Hang in there and try to improve your life in real ways instead of trying to escape from the pain through cutting. I have been in recovery for seven years, and a little while ago I became curious and considered going back to cutting, but I did not do so. By chance, when I was trying to bend some tweezers using plyers, they slipped and I jabbed myself in the wrist. The pain of the small injury that lasted for a couple days let me know that I have made progress and it only reminded me of how badly I used to feel. Life can't always be fun and games. Sometimes it's hard work, but it will pay off. There is hope. You can get better and be truly happy. (hugs)

I wish there was a recovery home to live in that would not cost a life savings. I'm even thinking of admitting myself into a state facility once my son gets back from Iraq and his wife will not be living with me anymore. I will be alone with my demons. The insurance companies just do not understand how difficult life is when you suffer with PTSD, DID,SRA, and cutting. I have a great psychiatrist, a hard working theropist, a praying and supportive Pastor and church family and some great neighbors. And now I have found this support site yet, I still want to get lost at sea somewhere and never return. I have lost my faith some where along the way and life just seems like endless heart aches! I'm tired. I wish the Lord would take me home today! Friends I'm sorry I'm such a downer! God I hate myself. I'llnever change!