Self Harmers Anon Community Group
A group for self harmers to speak about what triggers them add support to others and a chance not too be jugded
I self harm. One of the main reasons I feel I do this is to get a release. I find myself having these feelings late at night when I cant sleep, I find the only way to sleep is to cut. When I cut I feel more relaxed and find it easier to sleep.
The thing that concerns me is that I think I have an obession with blood. I love to watch it trickle. Only my own blood. I enjoy the pain that happens just before I see it. If the wound starts to clot, then I squeeze it so I can see more blood. I could watch it all day. IIf I have an accident and cut my finger, I will make it bleed more an more untill no more will come out.
When I wake up in the morning, and the wounds have scabbed over, I feel as if I achieved something the night before. But within hours, I regret it!
Does anyone else have experiences like this?
The thing that concerns me is that I think I have an obession with blood. I love to watch it trickle. Only my own blood. I enjoy the pain that happens just before I see it. If the wound starts to clot, then I squeeze it so I can see more blood. I could watch it all day. IIf I have an accident and cut my finger, I will make it bleed more an more untill no more will come out.
When I wake up in the morning, and the wounds have scabbed over, I feel as if I achieved something the night before. But within hours, I regret it!
Does anyone else have experiences like this?
but i do LOVE the blood VERY much!!!!
the first cupel of times i was cuttin i was regreting it alot but now i dont regrett it tha much because i like doin it the pain its beautiful !!!!
god,
i truly understand how you feel, ive even splattered the blood over pages of my diary, so i can look at it.
i feel proud if i make it bleed loads, if i have to put the plug in the sink to watch it fill up, i feel so proud. I feel so ashamed at that same moment, but the shame comes back later. ill do anything to keep the red pouring, anything. but at the same time i wish i hadnt done it and i wish i wasnt like this. its so messed up.
i am fixated with red.
It's not a good thing to do we all know this, but I have ripped all of my toe nails out with knives, didn't hurt love the blood oozing out felt good, deeper I went the better it felt.
I have noticed I do this when i feel like I'm not in this world or go into a trance of sum sort, dont think anything of it just do it and keep doing it as feels like I'm in control ..... I can now tell you that after doing this for 3 months and wearing socks to hide my ugly toes and shoes to cover them wen out, I too wish I never started doing it as they are not growing back now.I have dug them out right to where the nail was. Little embarressed bout it but when I look at them it reminds me stop don't do anything else. I use to cut me arms and legs before tried my toes, but they were harder to hide.....
I feel sometimes people look at me and see I can walk n talk n play with me dogs but deep down really we are broken inside and we all need help!
So please you younger ones that self harm note: the older people do it too, ok it just happens.
Hope this doesn't offend any body, but had to share this.