I'm sorry that you feel alone; I just joined, but it does look as though a few people come around every now and then. It's the people that do post that make up the board, anyhow. . . :]

I feel as though I relate with what you're saying; I feel as though my family is lying to me every time they say something nice. . . every time. It hurts, for sure; makes it so you can't trust anything. Even when I look in the mirror, and think to myself, "Hey, I don't look too terribly horrible when I do this..." I can't even trust my own judgement. Then I uselessly spend the rest of the day trying to hide my crying. . . :/

I certainly understand the loneliness, too. . . this is my first time joining anything that's even remotely related to a support group, so I do hope that I'm going about everything alright [:
I do think I should have searched for one long ago, though.

To answer your question that may be rhetorical. . . I've asked myself that a bunch. I've come to the conclusion that it is because beauty is an opinion.
By the by, I've seen some of your pictures; even if you may not believe me, I think you are a pretty woman :] Before and after your haircut. . . (: Simply adorable.

Anyhow, I hope I'm not blabbing too much and that I could help!

Well thank you! And you are right, beauty is an opinion, and not everyone see's the same thing. I think about that when I hear people say that George Clooney is ugly, and I'm thinking, really? Because I definatly see him as gorgeous. Or some people say they don't like Drew Barrymore, but I find her very pretty. I guess its just that we are our own worst critics. I unfortunatly take it too far, I just need to find a balance and try to be happy for myself. Welcome to DS, I hope you find it as helpfel as I have been. I have a son your age, and a daughter who is 14, and I try so hard to tell her that she is beautfiul, she doesn't beleive me, but she is. It is harder for us to hear it from our families, but its funny how when a stranger says something nice, we kinda "accept" It. I hope you have a great day.

I'm sorry I'm replying a bit late; school has been absolutely bombarding me with projects.
I've heard that as well, and I find him quite cute, too.

I understand what you mean by taking it too far; I've just realized that I do the same, no matter how many times my family has told me that before.
Mhm, my parents usually seem to get upset that I listen to others more than them when it comes to such things... but it's easier to believe because you know that they probably don't feel obligated to say something nice.
Although it probably sounds hypocritical of me because I do the same, I'm sorry your daughter doesn't believe you; just keep on showing her how much you love her. It helps me get through with all of this depression and sadness that I have on a daily basis when she shows it; even though sometimes I ignore it outwardly, silly of me, it's really *really* important to me. I'm lucky to have a mother like that, as I can see when I look around, and so is your daughter.
And thank you very much :] I hope so as well.

I grew up in a family that was just negative about eveerything. I was told I was bad, fat, ugly, stupid etc. my mother had body dismorphia and was addicted to narcotic's because of pain. I didn't grow up in any kind of normal behavior. Honey, you think people lie about your looks, I think you look fine. I don't see anything wrong with you. You have alot of things you find wrong. do you think that you have dismorphic tendencies? All the things you things you think are conpletely reasonable in your mind. Disturbed have you ever asked you parents or school of how depressed you are. I have had depression since second grade so I am not a medical doctor trying to tell you what to do but the level of depression you are suffering so badly. I had painiac attacks and could go out my house for six month after hoghschool granduation. You are important and I really feel you may have a chemical imbalace. Something in life or school is causeing this much pain for you. I am still sturggling with this and will be 40 this year. Right now you probably feel helpless and wish you could just disappear into the floor. I do think it is affecting your live. My mom is almost 70 and I sit there and listen to her attack her self as if she is a piece of meat . I weight 305lbs of brain doesn't work well. She says her size ten self fat and I tell her then what about me. I have had to deal with this since junior high and I have been as skinny as my mom. I have to simply stop staying with my parents anywhere because it will fill me with negativity with myself. Try to love your self as you are. Believe me bing so over weight is hard but I need to love yourself. I am still sturggling with it. How bad is your depression. I say that another girl here is a cutter. Again I did this also. It doesn't help only for a few seonds and then leaves big scars that are always there to live at. someday you may go to far accidently. I would plead with this girl to take a behavioral therapy class. I am in the same case as eveeryone but I am really trying to take steps to love me. We all slip up just like diets but get back on and keep going. Say affirmations in the mirror each morning, Have a rubber band to smack you wrist when you are negative or you call yourself something bad snap it. You can't imagine how much we call ourself names. It just makes your wrist red.

Don't feel alone. Issues with self esteem are very common. Self esteem is about so much more than how you look. It's about who you are 'on the inside'. What makes you special. What do you have to offer. Think about your strengths and learn to overlook your weaknesses. That being said I have seen your pictures and I think you are very pretty and that's coming from someone that doesn't need to say it. Many of the 'beautiful' people you speak of may be cold hearted or may have self esteem issues of their own. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I think someone who is kind hearted and giving is so much more beautiful than someone that always looks perfect. There is so much more to life.

Have you ever thought about getting professional help to find out what the underlying issues are that make you feel so negitively about yourself?? I think it could be beneficial.

I am also 36 and deal with some pretty severe self esteem issues.

I have thought about professional help, but keep thinking how the heck is it really going to change what is in the mirror? And I know that I should worry about how I am as a person, rather than what I look like. But it gets to be so hard when I work at a place full of girls that are so pretty and my BF looks at everything that walks. I try to deal with the short stick I was given, but just wish I could have one good thing about me. I really don't have any talents, I have nothing to make me stand out and be proud of who I am. Other than being a mom. But that doesn't help with self esteem :(

Nothing can change what is in the mirror, but therapy can help you change what you think about yourself. I don't know you, but I'm sure you have some things to offer that you don't even realize because of your self esteem issues.

I really don't see what the problem is. You don't have to have big boobs or look like barbie to be pretty. I think you have pretty features. You just don't see it.

Are you a good mom? That would be something to be proud of.... What would you say to your child if he/she said the same kinds of things that you say? You have to find your strengths for the sake of your child or he/she will never know what good self esteem is.

Short of plastic surgery you cannot change what you look like. You have to find your strengths and be proud of them.

Please don't take this as harsh, but you have to stop beating yourself up over your what you see as ugliness and do something to change how you feel! What are the reasons you feel this way. I have known many strong confident woman who are not attractive at all, but they are beautiful on the inside, giving, loving, intelligent...

Read what you wrote and imagine what you would tell someone else who said the same thing. Don't edit it. Private message me if you want. Tell me what you DO have to offer. What would your friends say about you?

As for the BF he may look at other women, but he chose you. There has to be a reason for that. If he is checking out other women in your presense knowing your self esteem issues just because of their looks then maybe he needs to be kicked to the curb. Does he give you more happiness than hurt? That's something only you can decide.

I will again say that I REALLY think therapy could help you. These issues make you hurt. They play a big part in your life. You can't go on living this way!

Hi, I haven't been on here for awhile. This would be great to get started more regularly on here. Self esteem is a big one for a lot of us. I believe it stems from other issues we may be having. Like I am codependent raised by my alcoholic parents & my mom had multiple issues like narcissistic & adhd. I went through a lot of struggles like yourself when I was younger. I am now in my forties. I looked for help with group and 1 on 1 therapy. For 1 year, was faithful to all my appointments. It took me about 3 psychologist before I found the right one for me. I found that some had negative methods. I also have done alot of reading and art groups. I do things that make me happy. I make time for me, I try and put myself first if possible. I left a non supportive husband after 16 years. I became an esthetician which taught me about beauty and makeup. I had bad skin too due to poor diet, poly cystic ovarian syndrome, and yes being overweight. Now I am still overweight but I work out all the time. Over the years I lost about 40 pounds and kept it off. I am currently working on more weight off. I took it slow at started with trying to focus more on nutrition and take herbs vitamins for good mental health. I am now a regular b vitamins taker. Great for nerves. I have hiking buddies. I do make overs for work and now ladies ask me for advice and give me compliments on how I look all day. I love it. Remember beauty does come from within so start their. Heres a great book to read for happy therapy its called FLOURISH By Martin Seligman Psychologist. Its a great book to start some therapeutic reading. You can get through this and your life will improve gradually with some effort.