Seasonal Affective Disorder Support Group
Seasonal affective disorder, also known as S.A.D., winter depression or the winter blues is an affective, or mood, disorder. Most SAD sufferers experience normal mental health throughout most of the year, but experience depressive symptoms in the winter or summer. The condition in the summer is often referred to as Reverse Seasonal Affective Disorder. Seasonal mood...
Hi everyone,
Since about mid-April I've started to recover from SAD again for which I'm endlessly grateful. After such a long haze of apathy and lethargy I feel like I'm living my life twice as intense. I'm really enjoying that I can take part in all facets of my life again; professional as well as personal as social.
But there's one thing bothering me. I left the wallflower thing behind me a long time ago but still in groups and social situations I was often calm, not quiet, but would always have a certain amount of levelheadedness and just spoke when I thought I had something valid to say.
Now, I'm downright oppressing. I'm constantly talking about me, myself and i, more often than not about how winter depression is affecting everything about me and I'm linking everything around me to it, even when unjustified. When somebody says something that causes even a minor association in my head I immediately jump right on it, more often than not successfully interrupting him/her and taking over the conversation yet again. I'm just way too present, pushing everybody else away from the spotlight.
And I know this is not me, yes I'm ambitious and eager, but not like THIS. This is my eagerness quadrupled. I'm annoying even myself, in retrospect I'm ashamed and feel like a clown. Both my family and my friends have already shared their dislike of the way I've been behaving since the beginning of summer and I want to do something about it but in the moment itself I just don't notice that it's happening, or can hardly stop it. Also I've become less than tactical/subtle in social situations, and have thereby offended people without knowing or wanting to.
As you can see this is really bothering me. I'm turning into something I really don't want to be, and I don't want to ruin my good social relations now that I've only just reconnected with them after the winter. I'm wondering what this is and what I can do about it; is this summer mania or maybe even a light form of bipolar? Something else? And how can I keep check on my all-consuming want to be seen and heard?
I'm already planning on discussing this with my psychiatrist but would love to hear feedback from you guys as well. :)
Thanks for reading!
- Moirne
Since about mid-April I've started to recover from SAD again for which I'm endlessly grateful. After such a long haze of apathy and lethargy I feel like I'm living my life twice as intense. I'm really enjoying that I can take part in all facets of my life again; professional as well as personal as social.
But there's one thing bothering me. I left the wallflower thing behind me a long time ago but still in groups and social situations I was often calm, not quiet, but would always have a certain amount of levelheadedness and just spoke when I thought I had something valid to say.
Now, I'm downright oppressing. I'm constantly talking about me, myself and i, more often than not about how winter depression is affecting everything about me and I'm linking everything around me to it, even when unjustified. When somebody says something that causes even a minor association in my head I immediately jump right on it, more often than not successfully interrupting him/her and taking over the conversation yet again. I'm just way too present, pushing everybody else away from the spotlight.
And I know this is not me, yes I'm ambitious and eager, but not like THIS. This is my eagerness quadrupled. I'm annoying even myself, in retrospect I'm ashamed and feel like a clown. Both my family and my friends have already shared their dislike of the way I've been behaving since the beginning of summer and I want to do something about it but in the moment itself I just don't notice that it's happening, or can hardly stop it. Also I've become less than tactical/subtle in social situations, and have thereby offended people without knowing or wanting to.
As you can see this is really bothering me. I'm turning into something I really don't want to be, and I don't want to ruin my good social relations now that I've only just reconnected with them after the winter. I'm wondering what this is and what I can do about it; is this summer mania or maybe even a light form of bipolar? Something else? And how can I keep check on my all-consuming want to be seen and heard?
I'm already planning on discussing this with my psychiatrist but would love to hear feedback from you guys as well. :)
Thanks for reading!
- Moirne
I do hope this thing is the result of the hectic 2 years I have behind me and not a form of bipolar starting to show itself. I really don't want to go on medication again.